Wishing For...

Honestly, I wish it would rain more, here in Rexburg. Call me crazy but I love when it rains. There is something about the way it makes the world look. Not only does it make it smell fresh but the feeling of the world after it rains is most lovely too. All the colours and smells deepen and reverberate a clean slate of possibility and new-found hope for the world.

A Week Long Break

Tomorrow I am flying down to Santa Ana, California and I am rather excited. School, homework, mission preparation, drama, etc has just kind of worn me down with so much stress that I am quite eager to have S.I.X. W.H.O.L.E. D.A.YS. to just relax and not have to worry about a single thing!

I'm just jealous that the rest of my family was able to fly out two days before me, those lucky ducks! I am ecstatic to see my family. With everything that has gone on this semester, it has made me realize more and more how important they are to me. They are my support and my playmates. I feel that since I have started college and now with me leaving in 43 days for my LDS Mission, that I have had this realization of wanting to spend as much time with my family as I can. This trip, to say the least, is greatly needed and I can't wait to tell you all about it when I get back :)

Confidence Booster

Some days are hard. Some are harder. But there are those that just seem to glisten with hope -- those are the great days. This week had been a mix of both good and bad but how I feel right now is perfect. I reflect on what has happened in the last seven days and I just have to smile.

Nothing really happened. Nothing really does right now because "summer school" is not so fun when you see on facebook, instagram, etc all the fun things people are doing. You know things like going to the beach, getting engaged, touring Europe, getting engaged, DIY craft days, ... did I mention get engaged? And I am just sitting over here like, YAY! twelve page paper and an eight minute speech.... so not fun. But hey, a girl has got to do what she needs to, to be ahead of the game, right?

Anyways, like I said, there wasn't anything huge or exciting that happened this week but I feel like I was  being smooshed under a 15000 pound boulder and now I am flying. No, scratch that... I feel like I am soaring!

The first of the week was pretty rocky, so I emailed my parents some concerns that I was just having a really hard time with. The next morning my dad asked if he could call and talk to me. It was so nice to talk to him about my problems and to get really constructive but ever so loving advice that really opened my eyes to the greater picture of why I was feeling the way I was. My dad seriously is so great because as a businessman he likes to look at what is wrong and how can I make the situation better. Basically, what are the solutions and how do we go about that solution.

I made me think about what was really happening and by changing a very simple detail in the scheme of things, it has alleviated a lot of the downpour and left me quite light on my feet. I feel so much happier. I feel the best part of the change was that I was proactive. I went out immediately to fix the problem and to stay aware of how I was treating life and in what situations I was setting myself up for.

I think that as long as we are focused and determined in fixing a situation no matter how big or small, that we will always feel so much more positive energy. Even to the point that I have forgotten everything that didn't go so well. I see the good and the great that came out of this week.

Also, something that one of my teachers said was, "No matter how you think you did in there just now, you did great!" *talking about practicing teaching the first lesson in Preach My Gospel for the first time to "investigators"* I feel there is a lesson there. That we have to look at our effort in a positive light and tell ourselves that our attempts to be successful were great, because there is always going to be reason for improvement but just because something is in need of improvement, doesn't mean that it was terrible.

That right there was a confidence booster. And the fact that someone in my public speaking class said that I was cool... yup, I am feeling pretty special :) hahaha I did my speech today on blogging, and my professor loved it!

I hope everyone has a marvelous weekend! I know I will... *hint, hint* *wink,wink*

Longing for the East

My heart can't seem to stop longing for the East Coast and the sound of that southern drawl.... 

The humid night breezes and the magical twinkle of fireflies.... 

The kindest people you ever did see and the lush, dark green forests that cover 75% of the land. 

The mysteries of what awaits this twenty-something Utahn is absolutely irritating. It's the kind of longing that keeps you up at night -- and makes you want to stay in bed just five more minutes to dream a little longer about. I dream [secretly] of becoming a true Southern Bell...

The Best Awkward Situation

PREFACE: I might have been craving a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's and I was too lazy to fix dinner anyways. My plan was to grab the sandwich and run up to the Rexburg Temple and have a little "Wendy's Picnic" in the lawn out by the temple. But first I had to have the best awkward conversation I have ever had, before I could go to the temple.

Me at the drive through window: "Hello!"
Cashier: "7.73"
Me: "Here you go"
Cashier: "Have you had a nice day?"
Me: "Yes, have you?"
Cashier: "Oh ya... you know, you look familiar..."
Me: "......uh.... Really? I'm sure we've never met...."
Cashier: "Like you look like a celebrity or someone..."
Me: "Oh, haha, th--anks."
Cashier: *stares* ........ *still staring*
Me: "Well, have a nice day" *smile and drive away*

I was laughing so hard when I drove away because all I could think was, Was that a compliment? Was that some kind of pick up line? Was he serious? haha What just happened??

In the end I took it as a compliment, but I was definitely taken by surprised on that one.... haha!

F O U R T E E N

There are exactly two weeks before my very first half-marathon and I honestly can't believe I have made it this far! Back in November when I signed up for the Utah Valley Half Marathon, I had never in my life ran more than a mile. Let alone try to run 13.1 miles? For the first couple months of training I was really discouraged. I truly thought I would never get past two and three miles. It was really though to think that in my mind i was attempting the impossible, and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to build up my endurance. 

There were a lot of runs on Saturdays with my dad (who is really into running full-length marathons) and just having thoughts of wanting to ask him if he really thought I could do it. But, I didn't want to know what his reply would be, for good or bad, so I always kept the discouraging thoughts to myself. The road up to know has not been easy but it has been motivating. To see myself go from the girl who couldn't to the girl who is -- it makes me really proud of myself.

It's kind of the reason I signed up in the first place, for myself and to make me proud of me. Not for my family or friends. Not for the gloating or the medal (though I have never won anything so I'm excited about the medal just a tad bit, haha). I am only doing this for me, to prove to myself that no matter what, I am stronger than I ever thought possible. 

In today's society there is too much negativity towards self-esteem and self-recognition. It seems that now-a-days when people try to compliment each other they seem to think that the complimenter is not being sincere, lying to be nice, or they are blind because they obviously can't see how "terrible" the complimented *actually* looks or feels. It's sad really. That we can't look at ourselves and know that we really are beautiful, strong, smart, and full of creativity.

In a small way, i guess that is what I am trying to prove to myself is that no matter what my brain and the media of today's world are saying, I am beautiful, smart, strong, and worthwhile. I guess to some up my feelings about the race, I just feel that for once in my life I chose to do something and actually stuck with it till the end. I am elated at what fourteen days from now holds for me! 

A Letter to the Birthday Girl

Britt,

If I haven't recognized, and possibly embarrassed, you enough on Facebook, Instagram, through text messages, letters, etc, I wanted to do it one more time here on the good ole blog.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your example. I look up to you in so many ways and the spirit that you hold is so precious! I have loved all the wonderful times that we have been able to share with each other since, well, birth -- not a lot of people can say that to their bestest best friend! I can never express enough how much I am so grateful to you.

We have gone on some great adventures and I hope those adventures keep happening until the end of Eternity because we have way too much fun together. I absolutely love our "Red Mango Run Confessionals" and I couldn't be happier to have such a great patient listener like yourself, as my friend and cousin. Sometimes you are the only one I want to talk to (no offense to other family and friends) but I always know that I can count on you. Seriously, you are my number one confidant. You are such a blessing to me because of that!

 Like I said Britt, I look up to you in so many ways that if I wrote them all out, I could probably write a series of novels and still not touch on everything. But a few are things like: Optimism, I haven't met anyone who is just as happy as you are. No matter what is going on, you always seem to have a smile on your face! Piano, I seriously wish and wish and wish I could play like you. The fact that you are able to play in front of lots of people is so inspiring to me. Confident, seeing as you can play the piano front of lots of people, even in competitions and things like Jr. Miss Pageants where you have so much confidence is amazing. I honestly wished so badly I could do Jr. Miss with you but I just never felt I could be that confident and talented as you! Smart, you honestly are one of my role models when it comes to being smart. You are able to speak your mind so nicely and you are so thoughtful and insightful when you do. Spiritual, I don't think I have ever seen you waver in the church, in the Gospel, in your testimony, or in staying true to you and your beliefs! You know who you are and you let nothing change that. Fun, there is never a dull moment when we are together, even if all we are doing is sitting and talking, the energy that you have is incredible and I just love being around you because of that.

I couldn't be more humbled when I am around you, you are so genuine and I see the way the Lord see's when I am able to be around you. You are seriously the best cousin/ friend in the entire world. I know we talked a little at my mission call opening about how you don't really want me to go but you are so supportive. I don't think you know how hard it is going to be for myself to leave you for a year and a half. We have always been together, the farthest apart from each other we've been is 10 minutes when you were still in AF and I was in Alpine. I love your strength and I know that it's going to be hard on us both, but keep me in the loop while I'm out! You will have a letter every week from me and that's a promise!

In all I just want to say "Happy Birthday" with the intent to show you just a small portion of how much I love you and care about you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the kind of person I am today. You are a great gift from God to me and everyone else you come into contact with during your life. You are beautiful and loving and I only want the best for you Britt, because that is all you deserve, especially with the heart of gold you have, it's the only expectable thing you should be given!

 Love ya girlie! You've made it out of the teens finally. How does 20 feel so far??

LOVE your biggest fan,

Alyssa

The Time I Was A... Bridesmaid

This past weekend was a whirlwind. I love going home because it's like a mini vacation from school. I figured out that I can't take homework with me because all I want to do is play! Oh, and play I did. A whole bunch!! It was so much fun.

 

The drive down was so bipolar: 10 minutes of rain, 10 minutes of bright sunshine & repeat for 4.5 hours straight. It was actually pretty amusing!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My best friend is MARRIED, finally!

Kendra Anwarjan.... 

I'm going to have to get used to saying that.

Now, Kendra is the baby of our group of five amiga's! I have known her since elementary school when she moved into the neighborhood and she has been sunshine in my life ever since. It was an honor to be her bridesmaid, too much fun. She was married in the Timpanogos Temple in American Fork on Friday. Kendra and Aktar were just too cute too handle. AND the best part of this was that I was able to witness their sealing in the temple! I am so grateful for how the timing has all worked out for me to witness that. It was absolutely the most precious and special thing I have been apart of since being endowed 3.5 weeks ago. Thanks for letting me be a part of your special day Kenji, it was such a sweet experience!

(Brittney, Me, Aktar, Kendra & Amy)

They are sooooo in love...

Congrats Mr & Mrs Anwarjan!

Then on Saturday I went shopping with my mom in the morning to get some missionary clothes shopping in because I won't have much time when I finally graduate from BYU-Idaho in July. We found quite a bit of stuff which was SO nice and much needed! 

After all of that I took my cousin Brittney out to dinner for an early birthday celebration since it's this coming Sunday and I will be back up at school :( *Britt I hope you got your letter* We went out to Thai Village, Brittney's request which I was happy with since I LOVE that place -- I crave it all the time, then we went to the 7:15pm showing of The Great Gatsby!! A high school favorite of both Brittney and I. It was very well done and absolutely beautiful! In all, it was such a fun night, something I truly needed after a very hard week at school. 

Also, Mother's Day on Sunday was a pretty bittersweet day. I wanted to stay forever and celebrate and just never leave my family. It was such a good Sunday. My dad even got back from his business trip just in time to see me off. I love my family too much and I honestly didn't want to go back to school after spending the weekend home with them.

Finally got a picture of the Idaho Sign coming back to school!! Yay!

I was back in Rexburg just as the sun was setting. I was exhausted and just wanted to crash on my bed and sleep but I had some major projects that needed to be finished by Monday morning. Worst. Feeling. Ever.  I guess I should have expected that though, since I never did any school while I was home. I actually left everything in the trunk for the night and just took my laptop up to my apartment for the night, but I was so tired that nothing could get done so I finally forced myself to go to bed and worry about school the next morning.

I loved every minute I was home and can't wait to go home in a couple weeks to see Shaelie Walk, high school diploma in hand!! :)

Until next time!

Music Monday

These are the songs that always cheer me up!

Music Monday

Enjoy this weeks 5 songs!