First real day back home...

So I had my first day back to work and back to regular day things and it all just makes me wish that I was back on Heritage Tours with the music and people and places. It's hard because you live a certain way for 20 days 24/7 and then all the sudden it just stops and it feels weird. When I woke up Sunday morning I thought that Heritage Tours had all been a dream which only made me want to go back to sleep to the best dream I have ever had... But it wasn't a dream but it was the best thing EVER! We were one big family and I miss my "brothers" and "sisters" and my "parents" they were all so great! Especially Brother Toone, Brother E, and Brother Pelo, I miss every one :( Hopefully in time I won't be so sad but right now I am trying to cope back to real life stuff and I also have to start thinking of what I have to pack up for college. I leave in 6 weeks!! Its crazy how time flies when you are having so much fun that you can't keep track of the days! But I plan on spending the rest very wisely (with lots of fun stuff too).

WELCOME HOME!!!!

I am really happy to be back in my own bed... Almost. I miss my roomates-- especially Kiley! Aww and I miss everyone else too that was on Heritage Tours. I miss the music and the scripture time and the testimony time and everything else about the trip! It was the best thing I could have ever done! I had such an amazing time and I break down every so often because I wish i was still on tour ( no offense to my family ). Also while on tour I met someone very special, his name is Eric and to be honest he was the on;y guy that has ever made me feel visible. All other guys I knew in my life paid me no attention but he could see me! He is so nice and friendly and I had so much fun being around him. But, while on the tour he got his mission call and when he opened it I was so nervous that I could stop shaking! He was called to the Los Angeles, American Sign Language Speaking!! He was so excited! But, now that the tour is over I pray that we will see each other one day again (hopefully soon). I miss everyone on tour but especially him and his warm smile and bright eyes! But in all, the tour was fabulous and it was exactly what I needed in my life right now! And I also now know that there truly is hope for us all-- to be loved by someone special ;)

Goodbye Utah!

Well, you are probably curious as to why I named this post the way it is named. I named it that because tomorrow morning at 5:30am I will be leaving my home and my family and will be riding a bus all across the U.S. and visiting LDS church history sites. The trip is about 20ish days (3 weeks) and the whole time you are on a bus with 60+ kids all my age. I am super duper excited but I am also really nervous, mainly because I have never been away from my house or my family for more than a couple of days so it will be quite the adventure!! The funny thing about this whole thing is that I leave in less than 24 hours and I have not even packed and it is a 3 week trip, you need a lot of stuff! It is crazy but I am actually surprisingly calm about this whole ordeal. My mom though is super stressed and she isn't even going! I think it's funny, but that is one of the many things mothers do, they worry and the stress when they don't need to. But, I am sure that tonight I will be stressing about everything and the house will be in crazy havoc but I might as well enjoy the calm while it lasts!

P.S. I am warning you right now that you will not be seeing anything posted for about 20 days because we are not allowed to bring any electronic devices other than a cell phone- which we can't use until night time- so no laptop to write posts. Sorry, but I will tell you all about it when I get back!

P.P.S. Also since i won't be able to say it tomorrow, I will say it today:

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, happy fourth of july, have fun for me will you?? Thanks!

Camp Trip

So last night a few of the graduated seniors in my ward went up to visit girls camp and it was a lot of fun and it was nice to see my sisters and see how they were doing, even if Camille did badger me about how I smelled good and she didn't! But last night was their testimony meeting and it was really interesting to see how when you are 11/12 like Camille how your testimony is very short, sweet, and you say a lot of the things that your parents tell you to say. Then you have the 14-16 girls who had a little bit longer testimonies and you could tell that they were growing and trying to find themselves in life and in the church. Then you have us seniors who know exactly where we stand and what we stand for and there was a plead from us to the younger girls to keep strengthening your testimony in the church and this wonderful LDS Gospel and that we want everyone to come unto Christ and learn of him like we have grown to do in our short 17-18 years of life.

Also I was, for some odd reason, thinking about love--though I haven't experienced love yet in my life (other than familial love-because I love my family dearly) so this is kind of odd to think about. But, as I sat at that campfire looking at the blazing fire roar in front of me I thought of the stages of a fire like unto eternal love.

Which is that as you start to build the fire it is small and sometimes hard to start which is like when we are little we are learning how to love and to trust and find connections with people and as children that's sometimes hard to do because we only want to trust our mom and that's it.

Then you have when it is starting to build but there still isn't much happening; that is like when we are young teenagers who have not a care in the world and just want to have fun but as for the love status they are looking for more friends than a lover so there is a lot of playing and teasing that is more for the attraction of friends than of something more.

As the fire builds it becomes hotter as it builds and much more intense. This is where we are in our upper teens to thirty's where we want love and companionship. Just like the fire, as it grows it gets more exciting and often very showy and playful. I think of love at this stage much the same way that as we find love and romance and we start looking for a companion, our love is much more strong and intense which is why this stage could be called the honeymoon stage because we are still young and want to have fun but we want to love and the love at this point is extremely passionate.

But as time goes on and the fire starts to calm down, so does love as we get older. We learn to love deeper and with true love, we care and yearn for the other person's safety and well being. And though the fire shrinks and appears as if it is dying it really isn't. It really is gaining heat because in the last stage it becomes embers and the heat is what is intense-- not the show of the fire-- and so just like the fire love is the same way but in the sense that you are so loving and understanding of one another that you only want to see them happy and comfortable as the passion may not be so strong but the sense that you have been married for 40,50,60 years you were able to see that love is more than passion and more about caring for one another.

And that is my analogy about fire to love, I hope I explained it well but again i do remind you that I am only 17 and I haven't even been on very many dates so please forgive me if I didn't get all of it explained well or not very good. Plus it was really random anyway but I hope you enjoyed it!