Wishing For...

Honestly, I wish it would rain more, here in Rexburg. Call me crazy but I love when it rains. There is something about the way it makes the world look. Not only does it make it smell fresh but the feeling of the world after it rains is most lovely too. All the colours and smells deepen and reverberate a clean slate of possibility and new-found hope for the world.

A Week Long Break

Tomorrow I am flying down to Santa Ana, California and I am rather excited. School, homework, mission preparation, drama, etc has just kind of worn me down with so much stress that I am quite eager to have S.I.X. W.H.O.L.E. D.A.YS. to just relax and not have to worry about a single thing!

I'm just jealous that the rest of my family was able to fly out two days before me, those lucky ducks! I am ecstatic to see my family. With everything that has gone on this semester, it has made me realize more and more how important they are to me. They are my support and my playmates. I feel that since I have started college and now with me leaving in 43 days for my LDS Mission, that I have had this realization of wanting to spend as much time with my family as I can. This trip, to say the least, is greatly needed and I can't wait to tell you all about it when I get back :)

Confidence Booster

Some days are hard. Some are harder. But there are those that just seem to glisten with hope -- those are the great days. This week had been a mix of both good and bad but how I feel right now is perfect. I reflect on what has happened in the last seven days and I just have to smile.

Nothing really happened. Nothing really does right now because "summer school" is not so fun when you see on facebook, instagram, etc all the fun things people are doing. You know things like going to the beach, getting engaged, touring Europe, getting engaged, DIY craft days, ... did I mention get engaged? And I am just sitting over here like, YAY! twelve page paper and an eight minute speech.... so not fun. But hey, a girl has got to do what she needs to, to be ahead of the game, right?

Anyways, like I said, there wasn't anything huge or exciting that happened this week but I feel like I was  being smooshed under a 15000 pound boulder and now I am flying. No, scratch that... I feel like I am soaring!

The first of the week was pretty rocky, so I emailed my parents some concerns that I was just having a really hard time with. The next morning my dad asked if he could call and talk to me. It was so nice to talk to him about my problems and to get really constructive but ever so loving advice that really opened my eyes to the greater picture of why I was feeling the way I was. My dad seriously is so great because as a businessman he likes to look at what is wrong and how can I make the situation better. Basically, what are the solutions and how do we go about that solution.

I made me think about what was really happening and by changing a very simple detail in the scheme of things, it has alleviated a lot of the downpour and left me quite light on my feet. I feel so much happier. I feel the best part of the change was that I was proactive. I went out immediately to fix the problem and to stay aware of how I was treating life and in what situations I was setting myself up for.

I think that as long as we are focused and determined in fixing a situation no matter how big or small, that we will always feel so much more positive energy. Even to the point that I have forgotten everything that didn't go so well. I see the good and the great that came out of this week.

Also, something that one of my teachers said was, "No matter how you think you did in there just now, you did great!" *talking about practicing teaching the first lesson in Preach My Gospel for the first time to "investigators"* I feel there is a lesson there. That we have to look at our effort in a positive light and tell ourselves that our attempts to be successful were great, because there is always going to be reason for improvement but just because something is in need of improvement, doesn't mean that it was terrible.

That right there was a confidence booster. And the fact that someone in my public speaking class said that I was cool... yup, I am feeling pretty special :) hahaha I did my speech today on blogging, and my professor loved it!

I hope everyone has a marvelous weekend! I know I will... *hint, hint* *wink,wink*

Longing for the East

My heart can't seem to stop longing for the East Coast and the sound of that southern drawl.... 

The humid night breezes and the magical twinkle of fireflies.... 

The kindest people you ever did see and the lush, dark green forests that cover 75% of the land. 

The mysteries of what awaits this twenty-something Utahn is absolutely irritating. It's the kind of longing that keeps you up at night -- and makes you want to stay in bed just five more minutes to dream a little longer about. I dream [secretly] of becoming a true Southern Bell...

The Best Awkward Situation

PREFACE: I might have been craving a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's and I was too lazy to fix dinner anyways. My plan was to grab the sandwich and run up to the Rexburg Temple and have a little "Wendy's Picnic" in the lawn out by the temple. But first I had to have the best awkward conversation I have ever had, before I could go to the temple.

Me at the drive through window: "Hello!"
Cashier: "7.73"
Me: "Here you go"
Cashier: "Have you had a nice day?"
Me: "Yes, have you?"
Cashier: "Oh ya... you know, you look familiar..."
Me: "......uh.... Really? I'm sure we've never met...."
Cashier: "Like you look like a celebrity or someone..."
Me: "Oh, haha, th--anks."
Cashier: *stares* ........ *still staring*
Me: "Well, have a nice day" *smile and drive away*

I was laughing so hard when I drove away because all I could think was, Was that a compliment? Was that some kind of pick up line? Was he serious? haha What just happened??

In the end I took it as a compliment, but I was definitely taken by surprised on that one.... haha!

F O U R T E E N

There are exactly two weeks before my very first half-marathon and I honestly can't believe I have made it this far! Back in November when I signed up for the Utah Valley Half Marathon, I had never in my life ran more than a mile. Let alone try to run 13.1 miles? For the first couple months of training I was really discouraged. I truly thought I would never get past two and three miles. It was really though to think that in my mind i was attempting the impossible, and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to build up my endurance. 

There were a lot of runs on Saturdays with my dad (who is really into running full-length marathons) and just having thoughts of wanting to ask him if he really thought I could do it. But, I didn't want to know what his reply would be, for good or bad, so I always kept the discouraging thoughts to myself. The road up to know has not been easy but it has been motivating. To see myself go from the girl who couldn't to the girl who is -- it makes me really proud of myself.

It's kind of the reason I signed up in the first place, for myself and to make me proud of me. Not for my family or friends. Not for the gloating or the medal (though I have never won anything so I'm excited about the medal just a tad bit, haha). I am only doing this for me, to prove to myself that no matter what, I am stronger than I ever thought possible. 

In today's society there is too much negativity towards self-esteem and self-recognition. It seems that now-a-days when people try to compliment each other they seem to think that the complimenter is not being sincere, lying to be nice, or they are blind because they obviously can't see how "terrible" the complimented *actually* looks or feels. It's sad really. That we can't look at ourselves and know that we really are beautiful, strong, smart, and full of creativity.

In a small way, i guess that is what I am trying to prove to myself is that no matter what my brain and the media of today's world are saying, I am beautiful, smart, strong, and worthwhile. I guess to some up my feelings about the race, I just feel that for once in my life I chose to do something and actually stuck with it till the end. I am elated at what fourteen days from now holds for me! 

A Letter to the Birthday Girl

Britt,

If I haven't recognized, and possibly embarrassed, you enough on Facebook, Instagram, through text messages, letters, etc, I wanted to do it one more time here on the good ole blog.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your example. I look up to you in so many ways and the spirit that you hold is so precious! I have loved all the wonderful times that we have been able to share with each other since, well, birth -- not a lot of people can say that to their bestest best friend! I can never express enough how much I am so grateful to you.

We have gone on some great adventures and I hope those adventures keep happening until the end of Eternity because we have way too much fun together. I absolutely love our "Red Mango Run Confessionals" and I couldn't be happier to have such a great patient listener like yourself, as my friend and cousin. Sometimes you are the only one I want to talk to (no offense to other family and friends) but I always know that I can count on you. Seriously, you are my number one confidant. You are such a blessing to me because of that!

 Like I said Britt, I look up to you in so many ways that if I wrote them all out, I could probably write a series of novels and still not touch on everything. But a few are things like: Optimism, I haven't met anyone who is just as happy as you are. No matter what is going on, you always seem to have a smile on your face! Piano, I seriously wish and wish and wish I could play like you. The fact that you are able to play in front of lots of people is so inspiring to me. Confident, seeing as you can play the piano front of lots of people, even in competitions and things like Jr. Miss Pageants where you have so much confidence is amazing. I honestly wished so badly I could do Jr. Miss with you but I just never felt I could be that confident and talented as you! Smart, you honestly are one of my role models when it comes to being smart. You are able to speak your mind so nicely and you are so thoughtful and insightful when you do. Spiritual, I don't think I have ever seen you waver in the church, in the Gospel, in your testimony, or in staying true to you and your beliefs! You know who you are and you let nothing change that. Fun, there is never a dull moment when we are together, even if all we are doing is sitting and talking, the energy that you have is incredible and I just love being around you because of that.

I couldn't be more humbled when I am around you, you are so genuine and I see the way the Lord see's when I am able to be around you. You are seriously the best cousin/ friend in the entire world. I know we talked a little at my mission call opening about how you don't really want me to go but you are so supportive. I don't think you know how hard it is going to be for myself to leave you for a year and a half. We have always been together, the farthest apart from each other we've been is 10 minutes when you were still in AF and I was in Alpine. I love your strength and I know that it's going to be hard on us both, but keep me in the loop while I'm out! You will have a letter every week from me and that's a promise!

In all I just want to say "Happy Birthday" with the intent to show you just a small portion of how much I love you and care about you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the kind of person I am today. You are a great gift from God to me and everyone else you come into contact with during your life. You are beautiful and loving and I only want the best for you Britt, because that is all you deserve, especially with the heart of gold you have, it's the only expectable thing you should be given!

 Love ya girlie! You've made it out of the teens finally. How does 20 feel so far??

LOVE your biggest fan,

Alyssa

The Time I Was A... Bridesmaid

This past weekend was a whirlwind. I love going home because it's like a mini vacation from school. I figured out that I can't take homework with me because all I want to do is play! Oh, and play I did. A whole bunch!! It was so much fun.

 

The drive down was so bipolar: 10 minutes of rain, 10 minutes of bright sunshine & repeat for 4.5 hours straight. It was actually pretty amusing!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My best friend is MARRIED, finally!

Kendra Anwarjan.... 

I'm going to have to get used to saying that.

Now, Kendra is the baby of our group of five amiga's! I have known her since elementary school when she moved into the neighborhood and she has been sunshine in my life ever since. It was an honor to be her bridesmaid, too much fun. She was married in the Timpanogos Temple in American Fork on Friday. Kendra and Aktar were just too cute too handle. AND the best part of this was that I was able to witness their sealing in the temple! I am so grateful for how the timing has all worked out for me to witness that. It was absolutely the most precious and special thing I have been apart of since being endowed 3.5 weeks ago. Thanks for letting me be a part of your special day Kenji, it was such a sweet experience!

(Brittney, Me, Aktar, Kendra & Amy)

They are sooooo in love...

Congrats Mr & Mrs Anwarjan!

Then on Saturday I went shopping with my mom in the morning to get some missionary clothes shopping in because I won't have much time when I finally graduate from BYU-Idaho in July. We found quite a bit of stuff which was SO nice and much needed! 

After all of that I took my cousin Brittney out to dinner for an early birthday celebration since it's this coming Sunday and I will be back up at school :( *Britt I hope you got your letter* We went out to Thai Village, Brittney's request which I was happy with since I LOVE that place -- I crave it all the time, then we went to the 7:15pm showing of The Great Gatsby!! A high school favorite of both Brittney and I. It was very well done and absolutely beautiful! In all, it was such a fun night, something I truly needed after a very hard week at school. 

Also, Mother's Day on Sunday was a pretty bittersweet day. I wanted to stay forever and celebrate and just never leave my family. It was such a good Sunday. My dad even got back from his business trip just in time to see me off. I love my family too much and I honestly didn't want to go back to school after spending the weekend home with them.

Finally got a picture of the Idaho Sign coming back to school!! Yay!

I was back in Rexburg just as the sun was setting. I was exhausted and just wanted to crash on my bed and sleep but I had some major projects that needed to be finished by Monday morning. Worst. Feeling. Ever.  I guess I should have expected that though, since I never did any school while I was home. I actually left everything in the trunk for the night and just took my laptop up to my apartment for the night, but I was so tired that nothing could get done so I finally forced myself to go to bed and worry about school the next morning.

I loved every minute I was home and can't wait to go home in a couple weeks to see Shaelie Walk, high school diploma in hand!! :)

Until next time!

Music Monday

These are the songs that always cheer me up!

Music Monday

Enjoy this weeks 5 songs!

Worlds Away

A poem I wrote this morning. No judging, I don't do poetry, but I tried (It's written in free verse). Press play to listen to the music as you read. Hope you like it :) :)

I miss you. 

How many hours, minutes, and seconds

I stood there, wishing,

You would come back to me.

It seems like just the other day...

I walked through the long hall

trying to find my room, rounding

the corner,

and there you were,

standing there,

looking guilty while the rest ran out

yelling, "Man! Are you

serious?!"

Our eyes held for just a moment

and then I was walking

the other direction,

shaking my head and

giggling 

silently

to myself.

It seems like just the other day...

We sat there, staring,

twelve people

sitting between us. Silently.

Then a change in thought.

Then there I was,

scooting over.

Then there you were,

sitting so close.

My heart gave a flutter,

face full of confusion.

That sly smile peeking,

we weren't friends,

not really. "Is it alright,

if I,

sit here?" A smile.

It seems like just the other day...

It was a Wednesday.

You wore a black dress shirt,

grey tie and jeans,

looking oh so suave.

Chatting with my dad and

promising that I 

would be home on time.

We couldn't stop talking

the whole ride down.

It's possible 

I was

a little, well,

                                                                                                distracting.

We laced up.

You took off, showing

your mad skills

while I giggled and followed

s l    o         w               l                      y

behind in pursuit.

They called for snowball,

taking my hand. But,

it was girls choice.

I chose you, but first I had to 

catch

you.

It seems like just the other day.

But it wasn't.

667 days ago...

 I first met you.

Not knowing, the outcome

of our futures.

445 days ago...

You decided

you wanted to sit by

me.

435 days ago...

 You asked 

me out, for the first of many.

We played like the big kids

we were.

375 days ago...

The last phone call I
-- ever --

got from you. It lasted three hours

while I sat on the porch of my

Rexburg apartment, it lightly rained.

You were sitting in your American

Fork room, trying to pack. Different paths,

awaiting us.

374 days ago...

 You left.

I never got that goodbye hug.

I felt empty.
But you had to.

You had to go,

there was no other way.

I needed you to go,

they deserve you more than I do.

Now.

I send my prayers to you every night,

hoping you receive them

when you wake in the morning
and get down on your knees
and thank the Lord
for another day of service.

You are my best friend, 

and one day,

621 days,

or so,

away, 

hopefully I will get

to see you again.

Okay, o-okay ----

I really miss you.

With Love, Alyssa Wood

The Go-To's

 

Feel Good Food:

Thai

Music (Band):

Peter Bradley Adams or NEEDTOBREATH

Stress Reliever:

Walking Around Town

Exercise: 

Running

TV Show:

The Mentalist, Bones, Castle, or Supernatural 

Happy Place:

DisneyLand

Recreational Reading:

City Of Bones & The Book Thief

Color:

Purple

Dessert:

Cake (red velvet or chocolate "skor")

Comfort:

Bubble Baths & Tea

Flower:

Baby Pink Peonies

Shoes:

Sperry or Born

Store:

Barnes & Noble

Restaurant:

Layla's, Rumbi or Thai Village 

Music Monday

I'm back in Rexburg. It's super windy and the air is a rustic brown color that tastes like sand paper. Needless to say I am staying inside where the wind can't get to my hair and I can stay nice and toasty. 

Enjoy this weeks music selection!

Music Monday: A New Segment

I am extremely passionate towards music. I love finding fresh, unique artists and songs. Because of this I thought I would share five songs every week that I like. The choices will most likely be very eclectic and might at times feel extremely random. I hope you enjoy at least some of the songs I choose each week. It's possible that I'll share some that you will absolutely love and some you can't stand.

I just feel that this is a way to get to know me just a little bit better, by what I like to listen to! So here is the first weeks installment, a day late. There were some technical problems yesterday but these will usually be posted on Mondays. Enjoy!

The Greatest Cures

Many times when I am uneasy, distraught, or anxious about something, I always go to my mom for comfort. Her advice is always, "Drink a cup of tea, it always helps."

So, as you might have guessed, I was having one of those days today because I moved back up to Idaho for my last semester of school before my mission and I honestly wasn't having a very good attitude about it (oops! a work in progress...). So as you can see I wasn't exactly close to home when I could run to my mom for help, seeing as we are in different states now. Since I couldn't go talk to my mom face to face, we talked on the phone and as always her advice was the same. It gave me an idea. Sometimes we all need a little extra comfort when life throws us in the middle of a storm and I thought I would share with you my top five ways of finding comfort wether you are home or far, far away.

1. Tea

Like my mom says, a cup of tea really does help. It is warm, soothing, and brings peace. I usually do quite a bit of deep pondering while drinking tea. It is almost like a cleanse for the soul. Take the time to "restart" and put yourself back together.

2. Food

This doesn't mean eat your feelings away, your waistline will expand and we don't want that. I mean eat a snack or a meal depending on the time of day. Many times I will have anxiety attacks because I haven't eaten in awhile. Many times I lose track of time and it becomes 7 or 7:30 and I haven't had dinner yet. Pay attention to that. Eat three meals and at least two snacks at pretty equal increments, it will stop you from snacking or having low blood sugar.

3. Sleep

Wether you are sleep deprived or worked to hard to the point of exhaustion, you need to go to bed. Days like today where I have been awake since what felt like the crack of dawn and then traveling and unpacking, it takes a lot out of a person and emotions (like overburdened and crying) come as a "20% battery left" warning. In these cases, just go to bed, you will wake up with a much better feeling.

4. Temple

This one feels like a no brainer to me because I do it on an almost daily schedule. Do baptisms and, if endowed, endowment sessions and such, but also, just take a walk around the property. Sit out side the front doors and gaze up at the beautiful house of the Lord. Take scriptures, a journal, a prayer in your heart. No matter what you do in the presence of the temple with help raise your spirit.

5. Music

Lastly for me is music. It can be very persuasive and meaningful. Most of my music has very deep meanings that are personal to me and my situations. Choose songs that mean a lot to you, that make you feel happy, better, and uplifting and fun. Songs that put you in a very good mood are highly suggested.

*I would have put exercise but that revs me up more than actually lifting my spirit in a much deeper connotation.

Again We Go

It seems that times keeps flying faster and faster, leaving me wondering how it is already time to go again. This time I'm not so gung-ho and chipper about going back to school and honestly I really wish I didn't have to. Winter went too fast and  school is just one of those things that I just have to "get through" before I can end at my true destination, my mission. But, it needs to be done. I can't go on my mission without graduating with an Associates, making my future education a much smoother transition when I come home. I hope things will be fine for this last semester at Brigham Young University - Idaho but I feel that most of my time will be spent in study rooms and the library -- studying for long hours at a time to insure I make the best grades possible so that I can positively know I will graduate. It might be a lot of pressure to carry but I know that it will take me closer to my MTC entry, one day at a time.

Goodbye Utah, you have treated me well! And a reluctant hello again Idaho.

Wish me luck?

8:00, Please Come....

12:00 pm - Slowly working through my Nutrition test but I am not that interested. I have an hour left of work before I can go home. I want to go home so bad and show off the "white envelope" to my family.

12:15 pm - Did I just "Save and Submit Later" on my online test? Yes, yes I did. I can't focus anymore on it. I will have to finish it when I get home. Basically after that I spun around in my chair while looking at the ceiling (because I am still a kid at heart, and my mind couldn't take the anxiousness).

12:30 pm - Thomas (the kid that takes my spot for the afternoon shift) comes in while Craig and I are talking about how to drastically discipline strong headed kids.
               Me: Wow, that is really intense!
               Thomas: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
               Craig: Ya, but it works.
               Me: I don't think it would work on everyone though.
               Craig: I would say most cases.
               Thomas: Just have me beat them up. Just kidding. What are we talking about?
               Me: Naughty kids.
               Thomas: Oh... ya... just kidding.
Seriously the kid is crazy. Which he then grilled me on what pencil lead was and what happens when it  heats up. To all of that, I had no idea, resulting in a, "I really am failing this test aren't I?" To which his reply was, "Oh my goodness," while simultaneously sighing. Ya, I stink at science. Thanks Thomas for the science lesson though, I now know what pencil lead is (carbon - a very, very stable element), what happens when it is heated (a whole lot of "pretty much nothing") and how you can use a car battery to make a pencil into a light to help you see in the dark, on the side of the road, to fix your car.

1:00 pm - I hit the "clock" button and race out the door to my car so I can go home and wave the mission call in my parents faces! If you can't tell, I was excited!

2-8 pm - Me freaking out, having an anxiety attack about opening my call. Cleaning the house and decorating for all the company planned to arrive for the call opening. Finishing my Nutrition Exam and celebrating the fact that I have Nutrition NO MORE!! Then after all of that, a birthday dinner for Shaelie at our favorite restaurant Koi Sushi Bar and then back for cake with Grandma and Grandpa Wood just before everyone started trickling in! Yaaay!

8:15 pm - Everyone has arrived and my mom is forcing me up in front of everybody, yikes the nerves! My dad, although I told him not to, is telling everybody we are going to sing "I hope they call me on a mission" followed by "Happy Birthday." Then, it was my turn to stand up and open the call. As soon as I stood, the spirit filled me up to the brim and I just started crying. I bawled through the whole mission call.

8:45 pm - So many hugs! I felt so loved in those moments after I finished reading. Many congratulatory remarks as well as tears of joy and smiles. I just felt that after I read it, the anxiety, worry, discouragement, and inadequacy washed away leaving me happier than I think I have ever been in my entire life.  I couldn't be more relieved, excited, and in love with where I am going!

Thank you to everyone who came and supported me!

**Want to know where I am going? Click Here.

The Longest Day. EVER.

6:58 am - Dad calls down to my room to wake me up, it's already morning, wwhhaatt?? How did that happen? He ask if I want to help decorate the kitchen or sleep more. I decide to grab Shaelie's posters off my floor and run upstairs to help decorate the kitchen.

7:05 am - In the kid's office, still half awake, with camille. We finished up the posters and try finding the "blue tape" to stick them all around the kitchen.

7:12 am - Shaelie comes downstairs for breakfast. I tell her she needs to go back upstairs because we aren't done hanging up the posters. Does she listen? Nope. Instead she insists that she has to leave for school and needs to grab breakfast before she goes.

7:23 am - Shaelie is walking out the door for school as the whole family, minus Brynlee who is still asleep, yells HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (I pinned a "Birthday Girl" badge on her backpack but I'm sure as she pulled into the school parking lot, it would be off, laying on the floor of the passengers seat.

7:31 am - I walk back downstairs and turn on the music on my computer while I try to find something to wear to work for the day. I swear it takes me forever to decide on an outfit...

8:03 am - Dad calls down to my room, "Alyssa?" "Ya dad?" "The post office might just have your call." "REALLY??" *long silence* "Yes! They really do. Today is an eventful day!" "It sure is dad!" *me laughing so hard with estatic joy and amazement after my dad hangs up the phone.* It's here.

8:35 am - Dressed, hair fixed and make-up applied. I walk upstairs to cook my waffle and head out to work for the morning.

8:44 am - Driving down the drive way after scraping ice off my front window and almost spilling my peanut butter, buttermilk syrup, fresh raspberry waffle all down the front of me. (phew! A close one.) I decided that I needed to sit in silence all the way there because I have been so anxious the last four and a half days that I needed to find some "inner peace."

8:58 am - I arrive to work, only to realize that I left my badge at home, again. Day two, Alyssa? Shame on you. Next time take it out of your locker and put it in your purse, okay? Okay.

9:00 am - I knock on the mailroom back door to have my boss, Craig, let me in. "Oh hi! I'm really frazzled this morning aren't I? Sorry about the badge, again... BUT HEY! My call is here!?" He just stared. Apparently he wasn't expecting me to say that. Slowly though, a smile surfaced as he said, "Well how are we going to keep your mind off of the call until you go home, we wouldn't want today to feel too long huh? Maybe I can have you package some orders up for me before the post office, would that be good?" I just laughed and nodded my head. I need the distraction. Seriously, I have the nicest boss in the world. I LOVE staying super busy.

9:19 am - Craig leaves to go to facilities and finance to drop some documents off. I'm left to my own devices until I have to go to the post office. My choice of poision, study for my nutrition final. Gross.

9:45 am - Head out to the Lehi and American Fork post office. I decide it would be easier to swing by the AF one first and pick up my.... MISSION CALL!! And then swing back the other way on my drive back to Xango.

10:00 am - Walk into AF post office. "Hi. I'm here to pick up my... umm... mission call."

10:02 am - Out of the post office with my call in hand :) Oh my hiccups! It's real! I have it, right now. Wait what am I doing? What is air? This can't be real. *pats envelope to make sure it's real (50+times or so).

10:07 am - Walk into Lehi post office. *still stunned and worrying about it being left alone in the van by itself. I should have brought it in, just for good measure. Can't have anything happen to it before tonight. Oh well, I'll be out in a second... *still worrying.

10:20 am - So the lehi post office took a bit longer than the AF one but I am finally back at Xango, knocking on the back door, aaggaaiinn. (Sorry Craig...) I slide my call into my nutrition book and proceed to put my phone and the company van's keys away. Time to put the mail in the boxes, stop worrying about your call. It's safe.

10:25 am - Only seven letters and a return? People, where is all the rest of the mail? I get super bummed when there isn't a whole lot of mail to hand out to the departments. I sit back at my desk and stare at my UPS calendar until I start to feel a headache coming on. Guessing the only thing to do at this point is to start studying again until someone comes down with an order or requests a package pickup.

11:05 am - I start getting distracted and decide to take a break. I am soo glad winter online semester ends this week but I really am hating on finals. No one should ever have to take a test on the last week of school. We should just have an end-of-semester discussion on what our favorite part of the class was. Mine: when it's over :) hehe. I'm kidding but seriously, I'm a bit disapointed with my classes this past semester. But, oh well. Spring semester starts a week from monday so we'll see if that one is better. And then I GRADUATE LOLLIPOPS!

11:18 am - Wednesday's are always pretty slow in the mailroom so I decide that since I don't have a lot of time after work that I should probably start my nutrition final case study exam. uhgg...bleh...please no...whyy?... I can't... my brain is dead... you know what we should do instead?... no, Alyssa... stop that....it's test time... uhgg, fine!  Yup I hate tests.

11:24 am - Still stalling....

11:29 am - Okay. Question 1.

Part II: 8:00, please come...



Where in the World?

I receive my mission call this Wednesday (if any of you are in UT, you are welcome to come to my house at 8 pm to see me open it)! I can't tell you how long and anxious the wait has been for this moment. It's finally here. Honestly I never knew how hard it would be to wait six months before I would receive my call. I am so happy it's finally arriving this week!

You are probably wondering if I'm nervous. I am, but the kind of nervous that is good for you. I don't worry about where they are sending me or the language I might have been assigned to speak. My nervousness stems from how my reaction will be. I will be over joyed where ever I am sent but I don't want to feel like it's not as cool as someone else's and have people think I am going for the wrong reasons.

I love this church. I love my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and that he restored the true and everlasting church of Jesus Christ back to the earth. I am so grateful for the priesthood that was restored with the church. I am so very grateful to the keys and covenants that we have on the earth to help us come back to our Heavenly Father. I know that we will be able to live with our families again after death and that we will be resurrected to live with our families and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ once again. I am honored to serve a mission of the Lord Jesus Christ for a year and a half of my life. There is nothing better I would rather do than serve! I want people to feel the warmth and happiness I feel as I do the right things and live in the Light of Christ. I am so grateful to have the family and friends that I do. Each of you have made my life better than before and I can't thank you enough! I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen! 

Happiness in the Little Things

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you spend, wether it's at work or  with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored." -- Earl Nightingale

The last couple of days have treated me very well and I can't help but express how happy I am! While I expressed my pure happiness earlier today, I started thinking of all the things that make me happy.  So, I thought I would share with you a list of 25 things I love that make me really happy:

*in no particular order*

1. Hand-Written Letters

2. DisneyLand

3. Orange Julius's (or smoothies in general)

4. The Book or Mormon

5. Walks 

6. Rain Storms

7. Long Drives

8. Picnic's

9. Bubble Baths

10. Dancing

11. Talking to Friends

12. Peanut M&M's and York Patties

13. Going to the Movies

14. Book Stores

15. Traveling to New Places

16. Good Music

17. Laughing so Hard you can't Breathe

18. Cuddling While Watching a Movie/Show that they like.

19. Raspberry Creme Italian Soda's

20. Farmer's Markets

21. Decorating Cakes/ Cupcakes (or cooking/baking in general)

22. Going on a Long Run + Knowing I can do it!

23. Writing Short Stories

24. Photo Shoots

25. Dressing Up for no Reason at all.

There's my list, now what are some of the things that make you truly happy? I would love to know!

Feel Good Music

I was reading Tid Bits of Liv today and she had posted a video by Robert & The Carrolls I was quite impressed with their music so I clicked on their Youtube channel and found this beautiful video. I can't stop playing it! Hope you enjoy!

Finding Who I Am

The last month I have searched long and hard at who I really am. For so long I have felt at a loss to who I really am and I felt I needed to take a period of time to {re}find myself. I have come up with a list in that time that I would like to share with you.

First and foremost:  I am a Daughter of God.

                   I am the kind of girl who...

• puts 210% of my energy into each and every person I meet. No matter how exhausting it may seem, it's the only thing that makes me the happiest is when I am able to help people to the very best of my abilities.

• dances all the time, anytime. Down the stairs, across the floor, in a grocery store or at a mall.

• sings in the car, at the top of my lungs, when no one else is in the car with me or with eight people jammed into my car-- it doesn't matter.

• can't just simply describe something to someone, I have to make sure that when I talk to someone they see exactly what I see in my head. Lots of descriptors :)

• really loves food and creating new dishes. I cook, I bake, I create and I love catering! I have always wanted to open a little suave cafe full of delicious affordable and extremely healthy dishes that are drool worthy.

• loves to read. I always have a book in my purse, backpack, bag, etc! I can never leave the house without one. For any of you asking what kinds I like, my top three are: Fantasy/Fiction, Murder Mystery/Crime Fiction, Holocaust type stories. Wow... You guys probably think I am really dark or depressing ahaha I promise I'm not, they are just the ones that I feel so intrigued and drawn into.

• takes "way to many" (as my sisters point out) pictures. They always ask, "ughhhh... you aren't putting that on instagram are you??" haha I reply with a very defensive,"NO. It's for my blog sillies!"

• never posts anything (or at least feels that way) on my blog but ALWAYS thinks of things I can write about. Sorry, I really do try!

• seems to have this very "confident" air about myself which makes people think I want to be alone all the time when in actuality I hate being left alone.

• (as hard as it is to admit) is a perfectionist. I get it from my beautiful mother :)

• loves beyond anything else, to travel. I dream big on this one and hope one day I will be able to get to see all of it! I love culture, different foods/smells, sightseeing, languages and people.

• isn't phased by dead animals (I cry over them but I'm not creeped out) but can't bring myself to go into a room if there is a spider in it, *forever haunted by spiders, creepy little buggers.*

• can't decide if I want to go into (1)English Creative Writing, (2)Psychology/Sociology, (3)Culinary Arts, or (4)Forensics/Criminology Anthropology. Yup, four very different areas and I want to do them all. I might be in school for a very looooong time :D

• openly admits to being weird. I accepted that fact a very long time ago. The only way to survive sanity it to accept it! Normal people don't know what they are missing out on.

• always writing down things in notebooks. I have the memory of Dory the Fish from the Disney  movie Finding Nemo. Yup, it's that short.

• knows every song title, artist name, movie title/plot. I can tell you what movies an actor has been in as well as what actors are in a movie. I am a walking encyclopedia when it comes to stuff like that.

• loves finding really big fun words. Every time I don't know what a word means, I write it down and look it up!

• loves fall and everything about it. The crackling fires, falling leaves, smore's, pumpkin spice hot cocoa and the heightened thankful feeling that hangs in the autumn air.

• switches from my American to British accent without realizing it and half the time uses American Sign Language, French, Spanish, German, Chinese and Italian interchangeably with my English. *I'm not fluent in any (pretty close in ASL) but english, so no need to ask, I just LOVE language and have picked up a little of each.

• always has music playing. When I'm driving, dancing, cleaning the kitchen, cooking, doing homework, running, or just sitting.

• loves my family, friends, and every person I have had the pleasure of coming into contact with. Those that support me in all my endeavors. I can't thank you enough!

This isn't all that I am, but it's a pretty good list to a glimpse of who I really am. We are always changing and sometimes I feel we don't look and say "is this me?" If we don't every once in a while, we can lose ourselves. 

One thing I will always know about myself is that I can always know who I am through Christ. I am grateful for the knowledge of Him and His love for me. He is always there, wanting the best for me and believing in the potential He gave to me as I came to this earth to live in mortality.

Confession Time *Continued*

PICTURES!

Moving is such messy business!

Skiing Time. Such a gorgeous day!

The process of making Nate's birthday popup card (mind you, this was at 11:30pm)

Nathan's birthday gift. A 250 page book of handwritten uplifting and inspirational quotes. It took me 23 and a half hours of writing to get it done in time to send it to him for his birthday. It takes 3 weeks to get to Brazil. SO annoying, but the letters are well worth it!

(It's the same size as my hand!!)

I am addicted to sugar, I'm not kidding. If there was rehab for choc-o-halics I would be the first to be admitted. It's bad. So my family has this rule where we can have one treat on Sunday evening and the rest of the week is sugar free. For over 2 weeks I have been telling my parents how much I am craving smore's (on a constant basis). They got fed up with how often I talked about them that they made me one and made me eat it. OOH so good!! hehe I feel bad but I liked the smore to care too much :) *I need serious help, though, not kidding whatsoever*

On My Mind: Confession Time

I don't know how many times you have to apologize for not writing often but I definitely couldn't count the times on my hands and feet, but I really do regret everyday that passes without me writing on my blog. I think about all the things that I could tell you guys (if anyone actually reads these) but in a strange sense I'm afraid of what I should write and I end up not writing anything. It's the troubling thing about being a perfectionist and a writer, you want only the best of your writing to be presented, it's a terrible flaw of mine. The time I have spent away from my blog, has helped me rediscover myself and the reasons why I started this blog in the first place.

In all honesty, because we're honest here, I haven't been writing very well lately because I have started to care more about what people would like me to write instead of writing stuff for myself. This brings me to believing I have realized yet another flaw I have (which can sometimes be good and sometimes really bad) which is that I have a great tendency to put everyone and their needs in front of mine until I forget I personally even exist. I work so hard to keep everyone else happy that when everyone is fine and I have time to see where I need improvement, I get stuck in a downward spiral. It's not fun, I know now that I need to practice balance and that everyone needs their "me" time. In relation to my blog, that is exactly what I have done to my writing. I have put other people's opinions about me before myself and I have built walls around me and that scares me.

I feel I'm gradually coming out of it but life is a constant process. We all have days that aren't so great, but if we are able to learn to always be happy and know that we are extremely blessed, even the worst days can't be ruined. A lesson I learned today. Many things went wrong this week, especially at work. There were days where I felt I completely failed. At everything. But I kept going, even when I wanted to run out crying, I stayed. I picked my broken pieces up and carried on and today I looked back at it all and realized I had smiled through all of it , and it made me glad. Life is a way of refining what we have been given because we are stronger than we seem, and smarter than we look.

..............................

A lot has happened since my last post. I moved back into my parents home in Alpine from Provo, I won't say too much about the sitution other than it was really rough on me and it made more sense to move back until I go back to BYU-I for my final semester before I leave on my mission. Which reminds me I am finishing my mission papers this weekend and the Stake President will send them in March 27th!! I was able to go skiing with one of my best friends, Adrianne (I had the opportunity to teach her how to ski, she did an amazing job!) and she leaves for the MTC on March 20th, serving in the Italy Milan mission-- SO PROUD! I sent off a birthday gift to my really good friend Nathan who is serving in Brazil. The project was really intense and my hand will basically be crippled for the rest of my life with how much handwriting and scissor use went into it but I am so excited for him to receive it on his birthday on March 25th. It's actually been really fun since I have moved back. I love my family, they are my best friends, my counselors, my protectors, my court jesters, and most importantly the greatest people I could be blessed to spend eternity with. I hope your week has been wonderful and your weekend even better. I'm off to sleep now with the intention of waking up on a Saturday morning at 5 to go running and then off to Rexburg for the day to show Shaelie a few apartments so she can choose where she is living next Fall :) 

P.s. She's all grown up *tear*, I'm so proud of her *sigh*, she a beauty and a champ *hooray*!