My Life Plan

When you are young and naive, you believe everything and anything is possible. From becoming president to flying like a superhero. Me, I was a bit more practical. I have always wanted to be a writer. I remember stapling pieces of paper together and writing nonsense stories under my bed on these little handmade booklets and drawing pictures to go along with them. When I was older I dreamed of becoming the youngest person to have a book published and to be on the New York Times Best Seller's List. I thought I would travel around and see the world, and write about the world. I wanted to influence young people to like reading again. To show them that reading was fun and worth while. Obviously none of that has happened, yet.

Over the last year and a half I have been struggling to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Questions have come up and I have been so worried about if English really is for me. I have started doubting myself and my talents and wondering if, what I had my life plan to be made out to be, wasn't for me. I was scared and confused as to what all these negative feelings were about. How could I feel like this after 18 years of dreaming to become a writer? I was terrified that I didn't really know what I was doing. I keep coming to the thought of doing something health related, I have really come to love health and I am striving to become healthier and more fit (especially after I had a lipids test done and found out that I am at risk for cardiovascular complications) but I feel that it's not quite right.

I finally feel that maybe it was all in my head. That I had let doubt crowd in my mind and tell me that I wasn't fit to be a writer. Although I love health and nutrition and I want to help people become healthier, that becoming a nutritionist isn't me. Now, I am not saying that I am not qualified to go into Nutrition, I just feel that I would be more comfortable in English and continuing to love what I have always loved, which is writing.

Sure somedays my writing is horrid, repulsive and that no one should read it. Ever. Or if I have writer's block and can't write even a sentence because I simply can not come up with anything to write about. But, writing is where I feel most comfortable. It's something that takes courage and perseverance because like any other kind of artist, you leave yourself up to extreme vulnerability. That is why I love writing, I love that through the words I write on a page, you are getting to know everything about me, more personally than maybe you do even in person.

I think what has happened in the last year and a half is that I started feeling like I couldn't write because I wasn't writing, at all. My writing had stopped, it was used for essay's and papers for school that didn't lend itself to creative imagination and it became something like a job or prison. SOmething that didn't allow me to grow and build my talents in the way that I wanted them to. In the end, I ultimately shut down and felt like I didn't know how to write.

I feel like I have gotten my mojo back and I feel a lot more stable again. Sure I am not going to love every minute, because there are still going to be hard times but I need to realize that it isn't all always going to be super fun story time, but that for me writing is my security blanket, it's innately sewn into me and there is nothing that is going to separate me from the destiny of pen and paper. At the same time I ultimately still love health, and just because I found my niche again, doesn't mean I'm through nutrition and being a sort of nutritionist under the bus. I love that people are coming up to me and asking me so many questions about health and nutrition that I wouldn't give it up. I just feel that become my own personal nutritionist is going to be more of a hobby than a career choice.

Plus, if any of you out there want tips and tricks and advice, or whatever else on nutrition and exercise I would absolutely adore answering your questions because it is a huge passion of mine, just not one that I would do as a career necessarily. But, I love, love, love giving advice so please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like!!! (My roommates take me up on the offer 24/7 and I get so happy when they ask so please ask away, seriously.)

p.s. Sorry for the long post, but it's been awhile. Also, sorry I keep changing the way my blog looks, I have just really not been liking it lately.

Surprise, Surprise!

In the time between my last post and now, I have had a couple of things happen but one in particular is that I have received my first official CALLING, in my college ward!! I am tremendously excited and grateful for the call that I have been given.

But.. there is something quite unique and special about my calling. To be honest, I would have to say that it is quite a personalized one. If you are dying to know what it is I have been called to do, it is: Relief Society Nutritionist and Exercise Specialist!! It was one that has been made up by the Relief Society President and that I feel that we need in college.

A lot of kids in college think that they are completely indestructible and can eat what they want and do what they want but in the long run they are only making matters worse for their futures. It is really exciting to be a part of something that could help people! I am hoping that by the time the semester is over, I have helped influence and inspire at least one person to change their habits and become healthier in the long run!

I am still trying to figure out how to go about all of this and how I am going to do it but I feel that I am going to learn a lot and I hope the girls do too.

Some

Some days are hard, 

Some days are easy-going. 

Some choices are bad, 

Some choices are good. 

Sometimes I'll succeed, 

Sometimes I'll fail.

Some are the sum,

Some are the sun.

Some is a word

Some is a piece.

And some way I will. I will fly.

I will be free.

Hidden Meanings and Comforts Galore

My life has been insanely crazy the last couple of days, but it has been amazing to see prayers answered and I have had so many blessings appear, out of what seems like nothing.

For a long time I have felt that every time I have prayed and acted on my prayers, nothing seemed to come. No answers, no comforting feelings, no assurance that what I have been doing has been right or at least beneficial to how I am supposed to go about my future.

You know, I used to always know what I wanted. I never had any doubts that what I was doing was right or wrong because I knew it was right for me. But, for the last two years,  all that I have had is doubt. I would pretend that I still wanted things to be the same but inside I was torn between so many emotions and decisions that I didn't know how I truly felt about things.

Honestly, I still don't know what I am doing, but in the last three days I have had an immensely large amount of my prayers answered. There are people in my life now that care so much about me and want me to succeed and they help raise me up and see my potential. We have the same goals and we want to achieve the very best selves possible and I feel so grateful that although it has been a very long journey, I can now start to see that sometimes you need to wait for answers for a very long time to be taught lessons that will help you guide your way to where you really need to be.

I have learned patience, and I am slowly gaining trust and faith that although I am confused about certain things right now, there will always be answers and comforts, they just may be put on hold for awhile so that you can gain lessons and experience to realize what it is you need to do to be your happiest!

I'm Sorry

I know I said I was going to write everyday but I chose a very bad time to do that. I have to pack all my stuff up and move back to school all by my big self, so unfortunately I can't write for the next couple of days but thank you to all of you who followed me everyday so far!! I am going to write a lot more now!

I'll write very soon, don't you worry!

Top 10 Activities To Get You Active (Day 4)

Today I have been thinking a lot about health in general and how sometimes going just one thing isn't satifying. You start getting bored and you feel like you aren't excited to exercise because it feels monotonous. SO I have come up with some of my favorite activities that really get you excited again about staying healthy and motivated!

1. Biking
It is harder than just plain jogging/running but it is so much fun. I absolutely recommend every once and a while going out and riding around the neighborhood or if you need to go somewhere relatively close ride your bike instead of driving!

2. Hiking
It is calming and refreshing! Just to be able to go outside and get fresh mountain air is amazing. It really helps your body and mind become rejuvenated. Another one of my favorite go-to activities.

3. Rollerblading/skating
This is more play than work! You don't even feel like it is exercise until you stop and realize you have sweat dripping down your face. It is exciting to feel like you are just out playing in the sun, having a good time and in fact you are secretly multitasking for health benefits.

4. Yoga
This is relaxing and is helps clear your head and it can reduce stress that you may be having with school, work or other responsibilities that you are doing. It really helps center the body and mind and helps slow things down to help you feel in control.

5. Jumping Rope
This takes me back to elementary school at recess and field day! You can even jump rope at the gym if you need a break from the treadmill or elliptical.

6. Dancing
This you can do anywhere at anytime! While you are cleaning the kitchen, in your bedroom, while walking to class (for the more daring) there are so many places to get your groove on.

7. Pilates
For the same reason as yoga, pilates is a great idea, it's a little bit different style and a bit more intense movement but all the same, it defiantly helps the mind and body clear the bad thoughts, feelings and outside problems away to help you think and process more clearly.

8. Your Favorite Sport
There are so many to choose from! Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, cross-country, swimming, football, tennis, try them all!! There is at least one you will like if you give them a chance.

9. Foam Pits
Places that have foam pits usually have trampolines as well. They are the funnest places EVER and you work quite a sweat at places like that. Much better than a boring old gym, right?

10. Rock Climbing
A total body workout! It takes all the muscles in your body all at the same time to help you climb up! Go to a rock gym, you can look up the closest one to you, they are every where!

Hopefully there is something on this list that appeals to everyone. They are all so fun, you can choose one or all to try. The most important thing is that you are trying to keep up the good habits instead of making excuses for not liking something or having no time because there is something that everyone can do and with just enough time to do it!

Until tomorrow, best of luck!

Good Ole Times and Fresh Beginnings... (Day 3)

Thinking back on how my day went today, I am really happy! I was able to be in the presence of miss Alex and I loved every minute! We talked about how much things have changed and we talked about college. It all felt like we hadn't been away from each other for months and I love that feeling!! That no matter how long you are apart for, there is always someone there to talk to! Like you talked just the other day.

But.... most of our conversations revolved around how our coming semester at college is going to be and it got me thinking that I can be anybody! I can have a great time and have loads of fun! I can make it how I want and I am so excited to have a fresh start because, let's just admit right now that although everyone talks about how fun college is, they forget to mention that it is also one of the most difficult things to do because you have to do everything on your own now. You are an adult, every man/woman for themselves! I was quite depressed the last part of my freshman year and I never want to experience it again. I want to have an unforgettable and fantastic, memory filled semester and I want to gain as many friends as I can. Go big or go home!

It makes me so excited to start all over. I am living at a whole new place with all new people and I am so excited to finally experience what college is all about and I have miss Alex by my side, which helps a lot because we want to achieve the same things and we will be able to lift each other higher as the semester goes on! I have a really good feeling about this year, and my mom has expressed the same thoughts to me. I feel that it will be much better and so much more fun than my freshman year because I now know how things go and I know what I want, and I plan on being aggressive and going for what I want, living life with absolutely no regrets at the end of the day, every moment worth it! I can't wait, it makes me so happy just thinking about it!!

I am Mormon (Day 2)

I am a Mormon and I am Christian. I love my faith and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that Jesus Christ came to this earth and served the children of the Lord. He healed the sick, the afflicted, and in the end of His ministry, he bled from every pore and suffered each and everyone's sins that we as his children, could return to Him. I know that our living prophet Thomas S. Monson is the mouthpiece of Heavenly Father and gives us, as latter-day saints, revelation and guidance for these last days. I know that Joseph Smith Jr. was a prophet of God who restored the true church and gospel back on the earth today.I know that God knows us. He knows me, and He knows you. He loves us and watches over us as long as we strive to live righteously.

"For every sinner there is a future, and every saint a past."

He loves us all and wants the very best for each of us if we are willing to humble ourselves and listen to the tender spirit that is in each of us.

I have learned this lesson personally in the past week and I would like to tell you all about it:

Wednesday morning I woke to an extremely painful toothache and I was worried something was very wrong. I talked to my mom and she said that I should wait a whole day before doing anything to make sure that it wasn't just a one time thing and then it was okay. Unfortunately it was too painful to bear a whole day. I called the dentist office and requested that I come in to get it checked out as soon as possible. They said that someone had just dropped their appointment for the following day so I scheduled to go in the very next day. At first I thought nothing of it, people reschedule all the time! But when I went in the next day, they checked me out and thought something was up with my tooth. So they sent me to a root canal specialist and two and a half hours later, it was determined that I was need a root canal indefinitely. By some miracle I was able to get it scheduled for the following day and within 3 days time, the problem was taken care of. Now I am recovering and I realize that the Lord had his hand in this predicament the whole time. He was able to open doors that I couldn't have done by myself. He is all knowing and all powerful and he cares enough about each of us to give us the help and healing we need at the right time and place, wether we know why or not. He is doing what he knows is best for us. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father and Mother for the blessings and teachings they present to me everyday.

Let's Begin! (Day 1)

Today was absolutely fantastic, and for no particular reason. I set out to have a good day, and it just so happens that if you set your mind to it, it becomes your reality. Today was like any other day: wake up, feed Brynlee and Makenna breakfast while the rest of the family attends Shaelie's cross-country meet down in Provo, clean the kitchen, mudroom, living room, play with the girls and then help make lunch. After lunch I went down to my bedroom and started typing up my very own, personal healthy college cookbook. It's exciting, putting this much effort into something like this. It's been awhile since I put this much focus and energy into a project. I feel that it's something very important to me and it's something that I, myself, want to do, for me.

Sometimes life can get crazy, and sometimes, you just lose yourself-- not in a good way. I feel that my freshman year in college was a bit of a losing period. I lost myself this past year and now I am trying to gain not just myself back but a better and fresher me. Someone who has confidence and strength, poise and grace; someone that I would respect and is respectful, understanding and peaceful. Basically, well-rounded and much more like the true Alyssa.

I have done a lot of not-so-smart things in my life but a very good friend of mine has helped me to see that deep down, I had never truly lost myself, I was just covered in mud and needed a deep clean, if you will, into what really matters. So life is tough. But not standing your ground makes it tougher. Why make life harder than needs be?

With school starting next week and packing and moving this week, I have seen the real value of being yourself, and one day you can be the person God made you to be. Life is bigger than our individual problems and if we are able to look past our self tarnishes, we can see the good in ourselves and in the people that surround us everyday. Today is all about loving what you are handed and doing all you can with what you are given.