There are exactly two weeks before my very first half-marathon and I honestly can't believe I have made it this far! Back in November when I signed up for the Utah Valley Half Marathon, I had never in my life ran more than a mile. Let alone try to run 13.1 miles? For the first couple months of training I was really discouraged. I truly thought I would never get past two and three miles. It was really though to think that in my mind i was attempting the impossible, and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to build up my endurance.
There were a lot of runs on Saturdays with my dad (who is really into running full-length marathons) and just having thoughts of wanting to ask him if he really thought I could do it. But, I didn't want to know what his reply would be, for good or bad, so I always kept the discouraging thoughts to myself. The road up to know has not been easy but it has been motivating. To see myself go from the girl who couldn't to the girl who is -- it makes me really proud of myself.
It's kind of the reason I signed up in the first place, for myself and to make me proud of me. Not for my family or friends. Not for the gloating or the medal (though I have never won anything so I'm excited about the medal just a tad bit, haha). I am only doing this for me, to prove to myself that no matter what, I am stronger than I ever thought possible.
In today's society there is too much negativity towards self-esteem and self-recognition. It seems that now-a-days when people try to compliment each other they seem to think that the complimenter is not being sincere, lying to be nice, or they are blind because they obviously can't see how "terrible" the complimented *actually* looks or feels. It's sad really. That we can't look at ourselves and know that we really are beautiful, strong, smart, and full of creativity.
In a small way, i guess that is what I am trying to prove to myself is that no matter what my brain and the media of today's world are saying, I am beautiful, smart, strong, and worthwhile. I guess to some up my feelings about the race, I just feel that for once in my life I chose to do something and actually stuck with it till the end. I am elated at what fourteen days from now holds for me!