I used to do a lot of thinking, but never enough doing. I thought that dreamers were those who dreamt of becoming more, of doing more but never actually doing or becoming. I always wished and wanted but I could never finish something I started. It's sad to think that I wasted so much time on nothing, but that doesn't mean I have to quit, it just means that you admit the problem, think of a solution and follow through.
Sometimes life gets discouraging and knock you down, but you have to have the courage to stand up to the wrongs in life and realize that there are more reasons to get back up than there are to stay down. I probably already said this before but, I have been having a hard time making up my mind lately about, well, everything but I feel that I have found a solution.
One part of it was, I had some trouble keeping my love and interest of writing going. I have been taking a creative writing class here at school and it helped a little bit, but I was not as motivated, especially when I had got some bad critiques on one of my pieces. They pretty much bashed on the entirety of it and I was extremely upset. No one had ever been so mean and it hurt. It was like I had the wind knocked out of me and I felt that maybe writing wasn't for me. But, I kept going.
Yesterday we had another critique and the piece I wrote was well received, I had a lot of wonderful insights and some helpful tips but in all its was more of a boost of confidence for my writing. Because of this piece I think I am going to try turning it into a full length novel.
It's funny how you can get inspired from the most ordinary things. I guess that why people invented the word creativity. Taking something seeming so ordinary and being able to create something extrordinary out of it.
The other thing is that I have put myself outside of my comfort zone and outside my usual little box and signed up to run a half marathon in June! I am very excited because I have a problem with exercising. I am not very motivated to do it but I want to learn to become motivated. So I asked a couple of people to join me and I registered for the Utah Valley Half Marathon to keep me motivated to finish something I started. I am really happy because i am going to finally be able to cross something off my bucket list! And I get to spend it with people that I love dearly! Wish us luck!
Friday, October 19, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
In a Nutshell
This past weekend was one of the most fun weekends I have had since being up here (since I finished my homework pretty early). My weekend starts on Thursday, sort of, and this past Thursday I got to go horseback riding with some of my roommates!
(From left to right: Sydni, Me, Lara, Kayli)
It was so much fun and I was pretty sore afterwards, but the weather was absolutely perfect and it was so nice to hang out with my roommates for a couple of hours!
The horse I rode was named Chase and she was a beauty! I really didn't want to leave, it was amazing to be out with such incredible animals and the weather really was beautiful-- it could not have been better.
Then on Friday I had to do a bunch of homework but it was totally worth it because on Saturday there was conference and I got to go out to lunch with my roommate Kristina and her friends and then I volunteered at a women's walk on campus with my roommate Kayli and afterward we went up to her families cabin in Island Park and stayed the night with all of her family. It was so much fun to be around so many people when I was missing my own family in Utah. I felt like I was part of their family for the weekend and it was so nice of them to take me in! I was so happy everything worked out.
Even though I missed my family, because my dad ran the St. George Marathon on Saturday, I just had to tell my self I only had to hold out a couple more days because I get to go home this week to be with them which I am so excited to see them and spend this weekend with them! I can't wait!
Friday, October 5, 2012
It's Possible
I am acquiring a theme for this school semester which is "extremely hard and annoyingly difficult" (not to be complaining, more of just an observation) and I have decided that I need a motto to go along with this. I have decided that it would have to be:
"I don't need easy, I need possible."
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
October is Finally Here
I absolutely love Autumn and the time when the leaves start changing, the smells of warm cinnamon and nutmeg and getting ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving. The weather during Autumn is wonderful for running too, and it is just all so exciting! Though it's weird that it is already October, sometimes I wish that August and September didn't go by so fast, but it always does.
I am really looking forward to this weekend though, I love conference, not because you don't have to get dressed or leave the house all weekend but because I look forward to what the leaders of the church have to say and finding inspiration and answers in what their messages are. Plus I always feel so much better after conference and I look forward to the Ensign afterwards to read back over what they have said.
Also, I have a Creative Writing class that I am in right now and I can't get enough of it. It is the one class I truly look forward to going to, even when it is at 8:00 in the morning. I feel like every time I go to that class my creative juices are refueled and I feel my writing becomes more electric with rejuvenation! The teacher is great and I love his teaching style, it's very unconventional and emphasizes that the most important thing to do is write and receive constructive criticism to help our writing become stronger and more powerful. It's amazing how much my writing has improved and the ideas that are flowing out of me more often again. It has really helped me to fall in love with writing all over again and with more passion.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
My Life Plan
When you are young and naive, you believe everything and anything is possible. From becoming president to flying like a superhero. Me, I was a bit more practical. I have always wanted to be a writer. I remember stapling pieces of paper together and writing nonsense stories under my bed on these little handmade booklets and drawing pictures to go along with them. When I was older I dreamed of becoming the youngest person to have a book published and to be on the New York Times Best Seller's List. I thought I would travel around and see the world, and write about the world. I wanted to influence young people to like reading again. To show them that reading was fun and worth while. Obviously none of that has happened, yet.
Over the last year and a half I have been struggling to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Questions have come up and I have been so worried about if English really is for me. I have started doubting myself and my talents and wondering if, what I had my life plan to be made out to be, wasn't for me. I was scared and confused as to what all these negative feelings were about. How could I feel like this after 18 years of dreaming to become a writer? I was terrified that I didn't really know what I was doing. I keep coming to the thought of doing something health related, I have really come to love health and I am striving to become healthier and more fit (especially after I had a lipids test done and found out that I am at risk for cardiovascular complications) but I feel that it's not quite right.
I finally feel that maybe it was all in my head. That I had let doubt crowd in my mind and tell me that I wasn't fit to be a writer. Although I love health and nutrition and I want to help people become healthier, that becoming a nutritionist isn't me. Now, I am not saying that I am not qualified to go into Nutrition, I just feel that I would be more comfortable in English and continuing to love what I have always loved, which is writing.
Sure somedays my writing is horrid, repulsive and that no one should read it. Ever. Or if I have writer's block and can't write even a sentence because I simply can not come up with anything to write about. But, writing is where I feel most comfortable. It's something that takes courage and perseverance because like any other kind of artist, you leave yourself up to extreme vulnerability. That is why I love writing, I love that through the words I write on a page, you are getting to know everything about me, more personally than maybe you do even in person.
I think what has happened in the last year and a half is that I started feeling like I couldn't write because I wasn't writing, at all. My writing had stopped, it was used for essay's and papers for school that didn't lend itself to creative imagination and it became something like a job or prison. SOmething that didn't allow me to grow and build my talents in the way that I wanted them to. In the end, I ultimately shut down and felt like I didn't know how to write.
I feel like I have gotten my mojo back and I feel a lot more stable again. Sure I am not going to love every minute, because there are still going to be hard times but I need to realize that it isn't all always going to be super fun story time, but that for me writing is my security blanket, it's innately sewn into me and there is nothing that is going to separate me from the destiny of pen and paper. At the same time I ultimately still love health, and just because I found my niche again, doesn't mean I'm through nutrition and being a sort of nutritionist under the bus. I love that people are coming up to me and asking me so many questions about health and nutrition that I wouldn't give it up. I just feel that become my own personal nutritionist is going to be more of a hobby than a career choice.
Plus, if any of you out there want tips and tricks and advice, or whatever else on nutrition and exercise I would absolutely adore answering your questions because it is a huge passion of mine, just not one that I would do as a career necessarily. But, I love, love, love giving advice so please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like!!! (My roommates take me up on the offer 24/7 and I get so happy when they ask so please ask away, seriously.)
p.s. Sorry for the long post, but it's been awhile. Also, sorry I keep changing the way my blog looks, I have just really not been liking it lately.
Over the last year and a half I have been struggling to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Questions have come up and I have been so worried about if English really is for me. I have started doubting myself and my talents and wondering if, what I had my life plan to be made out to be, wasn't for me. I was scared and confused as to what all these negative feelings were about. How could I feel like this after 18 years of dreaming to become a writer? I was terrified that I didn't really know what I was doing. I keep coming to the thought of doing something health related, I have really come to love health and I am striving to become healthier and more fit (especially after I had a lipids test done and found out that I am at risk for cardiovascular complications) but I feel that it's not quite right.
I finally feel that maybe it was all in my head. That I had let doubt crowd in my mind and tell me that I wasn't fit to be a writer. Although I love health and nutrition and I want to help people become healthier, that becoming a nutritionist isn't me. Now, I am not saying that I am not qualified to go into Nutrition, I just feel that I would be more comfortable in English and continuing to love what I have always loved, which is writing.
Sure somedays my writing is horrid, repulsive and that no one should read it. Ever. Or if I have writer's block and can't write even a sentence because I simply can not come up with anything to write about. But, writing is where I feel most comfortable. It's something that takes courage and perseverance because like any other kind of artist, you leave yourself up to extreme vulnerability. That is why I love writing, I love that through the words I write on a page, you are getting to know everything about me, more personally than maybe you do even in person.
I think what has happened in the last year and a half is that I started feeling like I couldn't write because I wasn't writing, at all. My writing had stopped, it was used for essay's and papers for school that didn't lend itself to creative imagination and it became something like a job or prison. SOmething that didn't allow me to grow and build my talents in the way that I wanted them to. In the end, I ultimately shut down and felt like I didn't know how to write.
I feel like I have gotten my mojo back and I feel a lot more stable again. Sure I am not going to love every minute, because there are still going to be hard times but I need to realize that it isn't all always going to be super fun story time, but that for me writing is my security blanket, it's innately sewn into me and there is nothing that is going to separate me from the destiny of pen and paper. At the same time I ultimately still love health, and just because I found my niche again, doesn't mean I'm through nutrition and being a sort of nutritionist under the bus. I love that people are coming up to me and asking me so many questions about health and nutrition that I wouldn't give it up. I just feel that become my own personal nutritionist is going to be more of a hobby than a career choice.
Plus, if any of you out there want tips and tricks and advice, or whatever else on nutrition and exercise I would absolutely adore answering your questions because it is a huge passion of mine, just not one that I would do as a career necessarily. But, I love, love, love giving advice so please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like!!! (My roommates take me up on the offer 24/7 and I get so happy when they ask so please ask away, seriously.)
p.s. Sorry for the long post, but it's been awhile. Also, sorry I keep changing the way my blog looks, I have just really not been liking it lately.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Surprise, Surprise!
But.. there is something quite unique and special about my calling. To be honest, I would have to say that it is quite a personalized one. If you are dying to know what it is I have been called to do, it is: Relief Society Nutritionist and Exercise Specialist!! It was one that has been made up by the Relief Society President and that I feel that we need in college.
A lot of kids in college think that they are completely indestructible and can eat what they want and do what they want but in the long run they are only making matters worse for their futures. It is really exciting to be a part of something that could help people! I am hoping that by the time the semester is over, I have helped influence and inspire at least one person to change their habits and become healthier in the long run!
I am still trying to figure out how to go about all of this and how I am going to do it but I feel that I am going to learn a lot and I hope the girls do too.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Some
Some days are hard,
Some days are easy-going.
Some choices are bad,
Some choices are good.
Sometimes I'll succeed,
Sometimes I'll fail.
Some are the sum,
Some are the sun.
Some is a word
Some is a piece.
And some way I will. I will fly.
I will be free.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Hidden Meanings and Comforts Galore
My life has been insanely crazy the last couple of days, but it has been amazing to see prayers answered and I have had so many blessings appear, out of what seems like nothing.
For a long time I have felt that every time I have prayed and acted on my prayers, nothing seemed to come. No answers, no comforting feelings, no assurance that what I have been doing has been right or at least beneficial to how I am supposed to go about my future.
You know, I used to always know what I wanted. I never had any doubts that what I was doing was right or wrong because I knew it was right for me. But, for the last two years, all that I have had is doubt. I would pretend that I still wanted things to be the same but inside I was torn between so many emotions and decisions that I didn't know how I truly felt about things.
Honestly, I still don't know what I am doing, but in the last three days I have had an immensely large amount of my prayers answered. There are people in my life now that care so much about me and want me to succeed and they help raise me up and see my potential. We have the same goals and we want to achieve the very best selves possible and I feel so grateful that although it has been a very long journey, I can now start to see that sometimes you need to wait for answers for a very long time to be taught lessons that will help you guide your way to where you really need to be.
I have learned patience, and I am slowly gaining trust and faith that although I am confused about certain things right now, there will always be answers and comforts, they just may be put on hold for awhile so that you can gain lessons and experience to realize what it is you need to do to be your happiest!
For a long time I have felt that every time I have prayed and acted on my prayers, nothing seemed to come. No answers, no comforting feelings, no assurance that what I have been doing has been right or at least beneficial to how I am supposed to go about my future.
You know, I used to always know what I wanted. I never had any doubts that what I was doing was right or wrong because I knew it was right for me. But, for the last two years, all that I have had is doubt. I would pretend that I still wanted things to be the same but inside I was torn between so many emotions and decisions that I didn't know how I truly felt about things.
Honestly, I still don't know what I am doing, but in the last three days I have had an immensely large amount of my prayers answered. There are people in my life now that care so much about me and want me to succeed and they help raise me up and see my potential. We have the same goals and we want to achieve the very best selves possible and I feel so grateful that although it has been a very long journey, I can now start to see that sometimes you need to wait for answers for a very long time to be taught lessons that will help you guide your way to where you really need to be.
I have learned patience, and I am slowly gaining trust and faith that although I am confused about certain things right now, there will always be answers and comforts, they just may be put on hold for awhile so that you can gain lessons and experience to realize what it is you need to do to be your happiest!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
I'm Sorry
I know I said I was going to write everyday but I chose a very bad time to do that. I have to pack all my stuff up and move back to school all by my big self, so unfortunately I can't write for the next couple of days but thank you to all of you who followed me everyday so far!! I am going to write a lot more now!
I'll write very soon, don't you worry!
I'll write very soon, don't you worry!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Top 10 Activities To Get You Active (Day 4)
Today I have been thinking a lot about health in general and how sometimes going just one thing isn't satifying. You start getting bored and you feel like you aren't excited to exercise because it feels monotonous. SO I have come up with some of my favorite activities that really get you excited again about staying healthy and motivated!
1. Biking
It is harder than just plain jogging/running but it is so much fun. I absolutely recommend every once and a while going out and riding around the neighborhood or if you need to go somewhere relatively close ride your bike instead of driving!
2. Hiking
It is calming and refreshing! Just to be able to go outside and get fresh mountain air is amazing. It really helps your body and mind become rejuvenated. Another one of my favorite go-to activities.
3. Rollerblading/skating
This is more play than work! You don't even feel like it is exercise until you stop and realize you have sweat dripping down your face. It is exciting to feel like you are just out playing in the sun, having a good time and in fact you are secretly multitasking for health benefits.
4. Yoga
This is relaxing and is helps clear your head and it can reduce stress that you may be having with school, work or other responsibilities that you are doing. It really helps center the body and mind and helps slow things down to help you feel in control.
5. Jumping Rope
This takes me back to elementary school at recess and field day! You can even jump rope at the gym if you need a break from the treadmill or elliptical.
6. Dancing
This you can do anywhere at anytime! While you are cleaning the kitchen, in your bedroom, while walking to class (for the more daring) there are so many places to get your groove on.
7. Pilates
For the same reason as yoga, pilates is a great idea, it's a little bit different style and a bit more intense movement but all the same, it defiantly helps the mind and body clear the bad thoughts, feelings and outside problems away to help you think and process more clearly.
8. Your Favorite Sport
There are so many to choose from! Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, cross-country, swimming, football, tennis, try them all!! There is at least one you will like if you give them a chance.
9. Foam Pits
Places that have foam pits usually have trampolines as well. They are the funnest places EVER and you work quite a sweat at places like that. Much better than a boring old gym, right?
10. Rock Climbing
A total body workout! It takes all the muscles in your body all at the same time to help you climb up! Go to a rock gym, you can look up the closest one to you, they are every where!
Hopefully there is something on this list that appeals to everyone. They are all so fun, you can choose one or all to try. The most important thing is that you are trying to keep up the good habits instead of making excuses for not liking something or having no time because there is something that everyone can do and with just enough time to do it!
Until tomorrow, best of luck!
1. Biking
It is harder than just plain jogging/running but it is so much fun. I absolutely recommend every once and a while going out and riding around the neighborhood or if you need to go somewhere relatively close ride your bike instead of driving!
2. Hiking
It is calming and refreshing! Just to be able to go outside and get fresh mountain air is amazing. It really helps your body and mind become rejuvenated. Another one of my favorite go-to activities.
3. Rollerblading/skating
This is more play than work! You don't even feel like it is exercise until you stop and realize you have sweat dripping down your face. It is exciting to feel like you are just out playing in the sun, having a good time and in fact you are secretly multitasking for health benefits.
4. Yoga
This is relaxing and is helps clear your head and it can reduce stress that you may be having with school, work or other responsibilities that you are doing. It really helps center the body and mind and helps slow things down to help you feel in control.
5. Jumping Rope
This takes me back to elementary school at recess and field day! You can even jump rope at the gym if you need a break from the treadmill or elliptical.
6. Dancing
This you can do anywhere at anytime! While you are cleaning the kitchen, in your bedroom, while walking to class (for the more daring) there are so many places to get your groove on.
7. Pilates
For the same reason as yoga, pilates is a great idea, it's a little bit different style and a bit more intense movement but all the same, it defiantly helps the mind and body clear the bad thoughts, feelings and outside problems away to help you think and process more clearly.
8. Your Favorite Sport
There are so many to choose from! Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, cross-country, swimming, football, tennis, try them all!! There is at least one you will like if you give them a chance.
9. Foam Pits
Places that have foam pits usually have trampolines as well. They are the funnest places EVER and you work quite a sweat at places like that. Much better than a boring old gym, right?
10. Rock Climbing
A total body workout! It takes all the muscles in your body all at the same time to help you climb up! Go to a rock gym, you can look up the closest one to you, they are every where!
Hopefully there is something on this list that appeals to everyone. They are all so fun, you can choose one or all to try. The most important thing is that you are trying to keep up the good habits instead of making excuses for not liking something or having no time because there is something that everyone can do and with just enough time to do it!
Until tomorrow, best of luck!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)