The Second Time is Better than the First

Well beautiful people,

I have made it through the second day of college. I have to say, Life is a roller coaster for sure! And an exhausting one at that! But I am slowly easing myself into what life is really. I still feel like I am alone at how lost and stressed I am and that I don't even know what I am even doing here. But, I have been listening to calming music, talking to family and friends, and trying to stay positive as well as keeping the Lord in my heart and always looking toward the scriptures and prayer for guidance and safety. I hope and wish that one day I will feel like I am strong enough and have a good sense of what I am doing that I won't fall to my knees in agony because I have no idea what I am doing. I want this time in my life to be fun and wonderful like everyone talks about it being. I want to love this time like others say I will but I miss my home and family and the support of my family being able to hug me and tell me it's going to be okay with them sitting next to me but instead i am 4 hours/a state away.

Even though I know deep down inside that there are probably hundreds of kids that feel the way I do, I feel like I am the only one. I feel like I am one of the ninety and nine--The lost sheep that needs saving. I feel angels as I sleep, but when I am awake and there is so much going on around me, I am scared and I am lost.

I'm sorry that I sound like a debbie downer and a worrier, I just feel like I needed to express how i feel at the moment to help me feel at least a little bit better. i actually went to my class called: Personal Achievement-- which seems like it is a really fantastic class, and I am thinking it could possibly help me out. I think I am just seeing all the holding hands, kissing, wedding rings, and cute guys that are taken that make me sad too that no guys have come up to me yet. I feel like I really will end up an old lady with 20 cats. And you may tell me that I don't need to worry right now, just have fun! But, it's hard to ignore. So again please forgive me, you might say this was a bit of a venting session for me. But I guess it's good to let it out before bed so I sleep better.

Loves, hugs, kisses and more

xoxoxo