...and a happy new year.

Something to think about for the New Year

"You don't know anyone at the party, so you don't want to go. You don't like cottage cheese, so you haven't eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don't kid yourself, it's also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning [tea] is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it's really just a habit. Thirty days without it and you would be fine. You think you a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see your self as someone who can't write or play an instrument, who gives into temptation or makes bad decisions, but that's really not you. It's not ingrained. It's not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it's useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes it's the only way.

Set fire to your old self. It's not needed here. It's too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven't forgotten as far as you'd like. This old self die and be forgotten by all your family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire-- overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn't necessary."  --Julien Smith 

Family Pictures are FINALLY Here

Aren't we a cute bunch? I think these pictures turned out beautifully! Plus, the fall colors are outstanding. I loved the idea of being able to have a lot of colors in the shoot because sometimes I get bored of having everyone dressed exactly the same. It was really fun, even if it was raining.

My beautiful parents! 

Me (19)... 

I felt slightly like Shirley Temple because my hair was crazy curled when we started, but the rain kind of flattened it out by the end.

Shaelie (17)

She's lovely, wouldn't you say? Love her to pieces, and can't wait to see her tomorrow!

Camille (13)

Oh, how she is growing up, love her!

Makenna (7)

She's the cutest, sassiest little thing!

Brynlee (4, at the end of this month)

Lucky girl get's to spend her birthday in Hawaii! But isn't she the cutest little bug you've ever seen?

The Girls

The whole family again.

Well good news, I got a job for the winter, I will be taking a few online classes as well and I went on a date last night with my roommates, friends, roommate named Sam. He was nice and the date was very chill. We went and did sidewalk chalk under a street lamp and then walked down to a sandwich place called Gator Jack's for some food. It was short but fun. A nice way to end a very stressful semester.

That's all for now, I have to go pack up my room so I can move to Utah tomorrow morning!

Keep smiling! 

A Day Like No Other

It seems that today is a day that we will never experience again. Or at least not in our own lifetime. Can you treasure anything more precious than experiencing a day like this. It's a day that is a lot like a comet passing only once a hundred years. Take a breath today and make today wonderful, because it is and it should be.

Plus today is my last day of school, I can't tell you how happy I am to be done after today. I'll need a longer time to de-stress all that has happened in the last couple of months up here at BYU-Idaho. And I get to end the day with a date! And this time, HE ASKED ME! But it was set up by my roommate and one of her friends. So it's pretty much a blind date, but I'm still excited. I get to experience a really nice date before I go home to Utah.

Also I have some great news! This winter semester, I have decided to move to Provo!! I have bought an apartment and I can't wait to move there. I just felt like I needed to be around kids my age-- last winter semester I got really down on myself because I had zero social life and it was really hard on me-- I can't wait to be around the great kids of Provo! I am very excited to be close to friends both old and new and I just can't contain my excitement.

I am hoping to find work and I will be taking some online classes as well. I am also still training for my half marathon and I am craving to just be as involved and busy as possible. I am wanting to have a lot of fun, but to be very productive and active while I'm in Utah. There is so much to look forward to and I have to make the most of it.

On the Flip Side

So..... maybe things don't always work out how you planned them to. Sometimes, things happen, people change, and plans fail-- miserably-- and sometimes you learn that you are much more mature than the people around you. In this case, it was a boy and a date. If you haven't been able to catch on yet, it didn't go over so well. I'm not bitter about what happened and at least I can say I "went" on a date in college, finally.

I believe that God has full control of my life and he knows what is best and that the experiences I go through are to better myself and not to break me. Even if it makes for a very confusing and frustrating ride.

It does make me more aware of what I want and what I need to be looking for and I guess that's the whole point. One day, a very nice guy will walk into my life and we will be happy, but I need both good experiences and the bad ones to make sure that when THE ONE comes along, I'll be ready.

Until next time! Keep Smiling!

It's a Date!

I have a date! Can you believe it?

I can't. Mainly because I asked him! Wow, I had to be on something to ask a guy out on a date! I guess I just couldn't live with myself if I had gone yet another semester up here at BYU-Idaho and still no dates. I assume that's what people mean by taking matters into your own hands.

Now for the story of how it all happened:

It was Thanksgiving break and I was planning to drive back to Rexburg on Monday because my classes didn't start until 2 that afternoon. But, Saturday night rolled around and I had a feeling that I wanted to go back up with my roommate Lara on Sunday after she got into the Salt Lake Airport.

Sunday morning arrived and I texted Lara and asked if it would be alright to caravan back up to Idaho with her. She was happy that I was going to come back with her but she said that there were some boys up in Bountiful that needed a ride and Lara thought she would let one of the boys ride with me.

I'm not great at talking to boys but a sheepishly agreed anyways.

We picked up Lara's friend John first because his family had made us some dessert for us and then we went over to pick us my passenger, DJ.

I have to shamefully admit that I was so nervous, I was terrified of not knowing what to say and the ride ending up being super awkward for the entire 4 hour drive. But as soon as we were packed up and in the car, the conversation came so easy, it was shocking to me.

In those short 4 hours, I learned a lot and I had so much fun. DJ, is really funny and really easy to talk to. There was honestly nothing to be nervous about and I have to thank him for that. But, anyways, we seemed to keep coming back to dating and he seemed genuinely surprised to hear that I had never had a boyfriend and had only gone on two "real" dates and I had never been asked out while up at school. He kept asking me about it and how I felt about not dating. We got pretty personal on certain subjects and I wasn't expecting that at all.

By the time we got into Rexburg he told me that I had to promise him that by Sunday I needed to have asked someone out (I avoided answering him) and when we got to his apartment and unloaded his things. Again he said, "Okay you promised, you need to ask someone out!"

I told him that I never promised and he kept egging me to promise him but had to remind him there were no guys in my classes because there are only girls in my classes. He then proceeded to tell me I could ask someone in my ward (did I mention he's in my ward?). Finally I caved and I ended up asking him if he would like to go on a date with me.

He said yes.

So now I am going on a date with DJ this Saturday! I can't tell you how excited I am!

I just thought I would let everyone know that I, Alyssa Wood, finally, have a date :) Thanks for reading!

Runner's Tip: Shin Splints

This is a new section of my posts that will be about little tips and tricks for runner's and exercise in general, called Runner's Tip. This is my first one so be nice to me okay?

For many runner's, there is one injury among many that just about every one can get while running. This injury is painful and can be very hard to treat, it is shin splints. Shin splints cause a lot of pain in the muscle around the shins and they can happen at anytime, to anyone if you are not being careful. I would know because a few weeks into me training for my first half marathon, I seem to have started to develop them in my right leg.

I fear shin splints the most just because I am still getting into the hang of running and I am afraid that if I have shin splints, I won't be able to train for the half marathon and trust me-- I don't want to disappoint. So I asked around and I received a couple words of advice on how to help with shin splints.

First off, you need really good running shoes. One of the main causes of shin splints is because someone is wearing run down shoes that need to retire. Please, for your own good and safety, if your shoes are super old, they need to go!

Another thing, make sure you are wearing the right kind of shoes. Many people don't realize this, but many people in the world have misaligned joints in their legs and need shoes that would help correct that while you run. Check with the assistant at a sporting goods store about the different kinds of shoes to help get you the right pair. This also helps prevent shin splints.

The next thing that can help is stretching your muscles. Take this tip from dancers, to help protect their muscles and keep them nimbly on their toes, they use certain stretches. The stretch that can help is simple. Sit on the floor with your legs out stretched in front of you. One at a time, raise your right leg and flex your foot as far back as possible. Then point your foot all the way down as you can. To know how long you do this on each leg, try spelling out the alphabet all the way through on each leg.

Lastly, if you have already formed or they are forming, get the little bathroom Dixie cups and fill them with water. Then stick them in the freezer until they are completely frozen solid. Then peel the cup away about half way down and ice your shins that way. It really helps and it's much easier than trying to hold a whole brick of ice to your leg.

Hope these were helpful to you and I would like to say: Happy Running!

Hiatus Apology

Hello Beautiful People!

I would like to apologize for my long absences, for the times where I write a couple days in a row and then weeks go by with no new posts. I think about posting something everyday but at the moment especially, I have been having a hard time lately and it has been effecting a lot of things in my life including my writing.

I really am trying to be better at writing consistently and as soon as I get out of my terrible writing funk, there will be more posts that are much better but please be patient with me. I can tell you that I am still trying to figure out who I am and realize what my worth is. I just really need time to figure everything out but please keep coming back.

I can't express enough how much I appreciate everyone that reads my blog. It really makes me so happy that people care enough about me to read my stuff. Thank you so much! Hopefully I will start writing more this week. You people are the reason why I keep writing :)

The Things We Do

After having a truly rough week, it was time to have some ridiculously good fun. I don't think I have ever had a more entertaining and adventurous weekend in my life. By the close of Sunday, I can honestly say that it really did lighten my mood, as well as all my roommates (It had been hard on all of us and we desperately needed some fun.)

First, I had had a grueling amount of homework on Friday and was so tired that at about 7 pm, I got in the shower to get ready for bed. I had been playing music off my phone while I was in the shower when I got a text message. Looking at my phone I could see my roommate Lara's name at the top of the text message so I grabbed the phone and read what she had sent me. Apparently, some guys in our ward had invited she and I to go Ice Caving with them. I told her I would love to go but I needed to get out of the shower and then we could.

Half an hour later we walked out the door. We were ready to go with our boots, coats, hats, gloves, and flashlights. We hopped into the bed of the truck and drove out to St. Anthony. It was a rough ride out to the caves but it was one of the most amazing things I have experienced up here at school.

Now you are probably wondering what Ice Caving is exactly. Well, there are underground rivers out in St. Anthony just passed the Sand Dunes where there are these huge rocky craters. When it's really cold up here, which is most of the year, the water underneath the rock becomes frozen solid. We tried taking pictures of the caves but with the heat of our bodies combining with the cold ice, it was creating too much perspiration which in turn made the pictures too foggy to really see anything. But, the best way I can describe them is that if you have ever seen Ice Age where they are sliding down the ice, that is exactly how it was. You would be sitting either on your knees or bum, sliding down these tiny spaces. There were even sometimes where you would have to get on your belly or back to slide under the rock.

It was exhilarating and frightening at the same time because it is pitch black and you are having to slide under these tiny spaces between rock and ice but it was the best thing I have experienced. At the end you come to a huge wall of ice and at the bottom the is a sort of ice slide you slide down and then you slide your way back out of the cave. It was truly impressive and I recommend that if you have never gone, you should.

Then Saturday was  just crazy because I woke up at 7:30 am to take an exam and four quizzes and a little more homework that had to be done by 10 am and then Lara and I drove down to Winco in Idaho Falls to get some produce. Then when we came back and Lara did some studying and I did a little bit of laundry and reading during the afternoon. After dinner Lara, Kristina, and I went on our long run of the week and I was so happy, Lara and I were able to finally run 2.01 miles straight through without stopping and it felt so good and Kristina was tearing it up like a beast the whole time, it made me jealous:) Oh and my legs were so sore from ice caving the previous night that I really had to push myself to keep going the last little bit-- but we did it. I am so proud of us!

When we got back we got all squeeky clean and dressed up to have a Girls Night out on the town. We were going to go to Rigby to a Karaoke Bar to sing our little hearts out but before we left we helped our Roommate Carson throw a Surprise Birthday for her boyfriend Chase. And then we were off to Rigby. 

When we got to the karaoke bar though, it had been closed and we were all terribly bummed but don't worry, we had a back up.

We decided to drive back to Rexburg and go to Sammy's Cafe for a dance party. It has just a little thing but not to brag, but we were the life of the party and we even got up on stage and partied it out. My roommate Kayli even body surfed, that lucky girl!

 It was so fun but it ended at 10:45 pm and we definitely were not ready to stop so we drove to the local Applebee's where my roommate Sydni works and got free appetizers because we promised that we would sing to them. It was an extremely fun night and all my roommates were beautiful and their singing was heavenly. And then something strange happened....

I got the courage to sing... a solo.... acapella style-- IN A RESTRAUNT! What? Alyssa sings in front of people? No, but my roommates got me to do it, and I am never doing it again. But I sang "Cups" by Anna Kendrick from the movie Pitch Perfect. I forgot the tune to part of the song but I just kept going and everyone clapped and cheered for me so it made going out of my comfort zone totally worth it. I even had them record it so that I had proof that I did something I normally would never do.

We stayed out past curfew, singing long past every one else had left but the people that worked there, we are so naughty :) but when we got home Lara and I got ready for bed, set our clocks back for Daylight Savings and watched an episode of CW's Supernatural before heading off to bed. 

Sunday was also amazing. I don't think I have had a more inspiring, and uplifting Sunday in my life. The lessons were so powerful and after church I ended up walking up to the temple and praying to my Heavenly Father for a while. In all, my entire weekend was just amazing and there was a lot of fun and a lot of spiritual and it felt so amazing. I loved it.

Oh and did I mention I got a letter? From my missionary Nathan?  Well I did and I was over joyed. His letters always make me feel so happy and this one was really special because he wrote-- In his own words:

"So I just watched conference [....] I just thought I should tell you that IF you decide to go on a mission of your own you better leave as soon as possible because I don't want you gone too long after I get home. I have almost been out 6 months so IF you go you better get on it!"

I don't know about you but I was freaking out! I wish I could leave right now :(

But I hope you liked my really long post today and I will write again soon!

Those Who Come Into Our Lives

(Left to right: Carson, Kayli, Lara, Me, Sydni, Kristina)

I wanted to introduce some very special people to you. As you can see above there is a picture of my roommates and I. Yes, that's right, I wanted to tell you a little bit about my beautiful roommates. They have become sisters to me and I love them dearly.

(Lara Zenger and I)

So first off we have my wonderful roommate Lara Zenger from St. Louis, Missouri,  who I share a room with. We literally hit it off as soon as she walked through that apartment door--which doesn't happen too often since I am the "shy girl." I consider her the older sister I never had (seeing as I am the oldest in my family). She just turned 24 and she is a returned missionary. She served in Ukraine and spoke Russian and it's always a treat for me to hear her talk in Russian because it sounds so delicate and pretty coming from her, plus it's cool just to hear a different language spoken in the apartment. She is a huge example to me of what I should be and by her example, it has helped me decide to go on a mission.

(Kristina Nye)

Next we have Kristina Nye who is from Buhl, Idaho. She was the very first girl I met of all the roommates when I moved back up to Idaho this year and I can't say I have ever had a more warm welcoming than I did from her. She is is 21 and has the title of Miss Snake River Valley and going for Miss Idaho this coming summer. She is definitely the party and the most outgoing and she can cheer you up in the blink of an eye. She is absolutely fantastic to be around, plus she has a gorgeous voice which brightens up the apartment every day.

(Kayli Schwendiman)

Then we have Kayli Schwendiman, from Newdale, Idaho, who was the second person I met and again, so friendly and beautiful. Both Kristina and Kayli helped me move in all of my stuff on their way to the gym. Kayli just turned 20 and is one of the main reasons I have been so determined to run a half marathon because she does full 26.2 mile marathons and is helping me build my miles up. She has the title of Miss Southeastern Idaho and she is also going after Miss Idaho this summer. She is always so fun to be around and she is so kind to everyone she comes in contact with. She inspires me every day to be a healthier me and I couldn't be more blessed for it.

(Sydni Parkinson)

Sydni Parkinson is from Salem, Idaho and she is the same age as me (so 19 years old) but in terms of maturity in spirit I would say more like 25 years old. Her spirit speaks so loud and although she thinks she is quiet, she impresses more than she knows. She has a beautiful and soulful voice that always seems to always put a smile on my face and her passion to teach and share the gospel makes my testimony feel extremely inadequate and it makes me want to work harder at it. I am deeply grateful for her for that reason.

(Carson Duke)

Last but definitely not least we have Carson Duke from Scottsdale, Arizona. First off, I love her clothes and her fashion sense is absolutely impeccable, as well as all of my roommates (they are all like models, no joke). But anyways, Carson is 19 years old with Sydni and I and she plays Lacrosse and she is super outgoing as well. Honestly it is so nice to have such outgoing girls around. 

So there you have it! The most wonderful and beautiful girls I have ever lived with and there is seriously never a dull moment when I am with them and sometimes we have too much fun but I couldn't have asked for better roommates :)

"You Are Only As Strong As You Perceive"

I feel that there is no greater feeling than that of being proud of yourself. No, not being prideful, but being proud and confident of yourself and the accomplishments that were the hardest to achieve for you.

Today I would like to take the time to express how happy I am and how proud I am in myself. A year ago, I was a freshman in college who was terrified to have her parents leave her in a place she had never been to.

At 18, I thought I was invincible and was now free to do what I wanted with my life. Which in one respect, meant eating terrible food choices and being lazy when it came to being physically active. I fell hard off my high horse months after when I finished the first semester and headed home for Christmas break and made an alarming discovery that I really wasn't invincible.

I got down on myself and I was having a truly painful struggle with trying to lose, what is considered to college students, the horrid Freshman 15. It was a very unsuccessful journey and to my dismay, my goals of becoming healthier and more fit, seemed to never get passed the first week before I caved and went straight back to where I started, ground zero.

It has never looked like my weight has been a problem and people would always tell me that they looked up to me as inspiration and a role model when it came to health and fitness, but inside I was dying. It killed me when people would say things like that because I understood that I was truly someone they looked up to and yet I was letting them down without them even truly knowing.

Now don't worry, this isn't a sob story, remember?

The reason why I mention this backstory is because of why I am so proud of myself today.

On October 18th of this year, I had the courage to sign up for my very first half marathon. For so long I have said countless times that I was going to run a marathon or a half marathon and then I would quit after a week into it.

This time around, it was different. I filled out an application, put down $58 for the entry fee and tied my running shoes on. I have had so much support from family, friends and especially roommates, that I truly am so proud to say that this is my THIRD week of training for the half marathon and I am starting to absolutely love running and can't stop. I have a feeling that I will be pulling through to the end this time around.

Now I would like to humbly take a minute to thank my beautiful super runner roommate Kayli for helping me set up a running schedule that would help me build up to run 4 miles straight to do a pre-training before the actual training begins. You are my inspiration. Thank you to my drop dead gorgeous cousin Brittney for being the first to agree to run the race with me, I am in debt to you for being so willing and positive to join me, although I am pretty sure you thought I was crazy when I first asked you. Thank you to my lovely aunt Jill for also agreeing to run with me. You are the other person who inspired me to do this as well as the fact that you are the biggest source of my motivation to not give up on this race. Also, I would like to thank my darling roommate Lara for *finally* signing up for the race with me and believing in herself. I know you can do it and I will be there every step of the way. Lastly I would like to thank my parents, Kent and Melanie, for believing that I can do this and I have their full support on this.

Not only have I been able to stick with this goal for once in my life, but I have also started my own team, to keep me going, and everyone else in the team. To be able to realize that if you don't finish what you have started, you are not only going to let yourself down but the rest of the team down-- it is at least my motivation to keep at it, one step at a time. I never want to feel like internally or externally that I am letting people down.

Man! I am so excited for June 8, 2013! And thanks again to my running team:

Jill Reed: Aunt

Lara Zenger: Roommate

Brittney Johanson: Cousin

Stay tuned for updates on our progress and I feel like I will be putting up a lot of inspirational things because of this so stay tuned for those as well. Thanks for reading!!

Be Motivated, Be Creative, Be Inspired

I used to do a lot of thinking, but never enough doing. I thought that dreamers were those who dreamt of becoming more, of doing more but never actually doing or becoming. I always wished and wanted but I could never finish something I started. It's sad to think that I wasted so much time on nothing, but that doesn't mean I have to quit, it just means that you admit the problem, think of a solution and follow through.

Sometimes life gets discouraging and knock you down, but you have to have the courage to stand up to the wrongs in life and realize that there are more reasons to get back up than there are to stay down. I probably already said this before but, I have been having a hard time making up my mind lately about, well, everything but I feel that I have found a solution.

One part of it was, I had some trouble keeping my love and interest of writing going. I have been taking a creative writing class here at school and it helped a little bit, but I was not as motivated, especially when I had got some bad critiques on one of my pieces. They pretty much bashed on the entirety of it and I was extremely upset. No one had ever been so mean and it hurt. It was like I had the wind knocked out of me and I felt that maybe writing wasn't for me. But, I kept going.

Yesterday we had another critique and the piece I wrote was well received, I had a lot of wonderful insights and some helpful tips but in all its was more of a boost of confidence for my writing. Because of this piece I think I am going to try turning it into a full length novel.

It's funny how you can get inspired from the most ordinary things. I guess that why people invented the word creativity. Taking something seeming so ordinary and being able to create something extrordinary out of it.

The other thing is that I have put myself outside of my comfort zone and outside my usual little box and signed up to run a half marathon in June! I am very excited because I have a problem with exercising. I am not very motivated to do it but I want to learn to become motivated. So I asked a couple of people to join me and I registered for the Utah Valley Half Marathon to keep me motivated to finish something I started. I am really happy because i am going to finally be able to cross something off my bucket list! And I get to spend it with people that I love dearly! Wish us luck!

In a Nutshell

This past weekend was one of the most fun weekends I have had since being up here (since I finished my homework pretty early). My weekend starts on Thursday, sort of, and this past Thursday I got to go horseback riding with some of my roommates!

(From left to right: Sydni, Me, Lara, Kayli)

It was so much fun and I was pretty sore afterwards, but the weather was absolutely perfect and it was so nice to hang out with my roommates for a couple of hours!

The horse I rode was named Chase and she was a beauty! I really didn't want to leave, it was amazing to be out with such incredible animals and the weather really was beautiful-- it could not have been better.

Then on Friday I had to do a bunch of homework but it was totally worth it because on Saturday there was conference and I got to go out to lunch with my roommate Kristina and her friends and then I volunteered at a women's walk on campus with my roommate Kayli and afterward we went up to her families cabin in Island Park and stayed the night with all of her family. It was so much fun to be around so many people when I was missing my own family in Utah. I felt like I was part of their family for the weekend and it was so nice of them to take me in! I was so happy everything worked out.

Even though I missed my family, because my dad ran the St. George Marathon on Saturday, I just had to tell my self I only had to hold out a couple more days because I get to go home this week to be with them which I am so excited to see them and spend this weekend with them! I can't wait!

It's Possible

I am acquiring a theme for this school semester which is "extremely hard and annoyingly difficult" (not to be complaining, more of just an observation) and I have decided that I need a motto to go along with this. I have decided that it would have to be:

"I don't need easy, I need possible." 

October is Finally Here

I absolutely love Autumn and the time when the leaves start changing, the smells of warm cinnamon and nutmeg and getting ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving. The weather during Autumn is wonderful for running too,  and it is just all so exciting! Though it's weird that it is already October, sometimes I wish that August and September didn't go by so fast, but it always does.

I am really looking forward to this weekend though, I love conference, not because you don't have to get dressed or leave the house all weekend but because I look forward to what the leaders of the church have to say and finding inspiration and answers in what their messages are. Plus I always feel so much better after conference and I look forward to the Ensign afterwards to read back over what they have said.

Also, I have a Creative Writing class that I am in right now and I can't get enough of it. It is the one class I truly look forward to going to, even when it is at 8:00 in the morning. I feel like every time I go to that class my creative juices are refueled and I feel my writing becomes more electric with rejuvenation! The teacher is great and I love his teaching style, it's very unconventional and emphasizes that the most important thing to do is write and receive constructive criticism to help our writing become stronger and more powerful. It's amazing how much my writing has improved and the ideas that are flowing out of me more often again. It has really helped me to fall in love with writing all over again and with more passion.

My Life Plan

When you are young and naive, you believe everything and anything is possible. From becoming president to flying like a superhero. Me, I was a bit more practical. I have always wanted to be a writer. I remember stapling pieces of paper together and writing nonsense stories under my bed on these little handmade booklets and drawing pictures to go along with them. When I was older I dreamed of becoming the youngest person to have a book published and to be on the New York Times Best Seller's List. I thought I would travel around and see the world, and write about the world. I wanted to influence young people to like reading again. To show them that reading was fun and worth while. Obviously none of that has happened, yet.

Over the last year and a half I have been struggling to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Questions have come up and I have been so worried about if English really is for me. I have started doubting myself and my talents and wondering if, what I had my life plan to be made out to be, wasn't for me. I was scared and confused as to what all these negative feelings were about. How could I feel like this after 18 years of dreaming to become a writer? I was terrified that I didn't really know what I was doing. I keep coming to the thought of doing something health related, I have really come to love health and I am striving to become healthier and more fit (especially after I had a lipids test done and found out that I am at risk for cardiovascular complications) but I feel that it's not quite right.

I finally feel that maybe it was all in my head. That I had let doubt crowd in my mind and tell me that I wasn't fit to be a writer. Although I love health and nutrition and I want to help people become healthier, that becoming a nutritionist isn't me. Now, I am not saying that I am not qualified to go into Nutrition, I just feel that I would be more comfortable in English and continuing to love what I have always loved, which is writing.

Sure somedays my writing is horrid, repulsive and that no one should read it. Ever. Or if I have writer's block and can't write even a sentence because I simply can not come up with anything to write about. But, writing is where I feel most comfortable. It's something that takes courage and perseverance because like any other kind of artist, you leave yourself up to extreme vulnerability. That is why I love writing, I love that through the words I write on a page, you are getting to know everything about me, more personally than maybe you do even in person.

I think what has happened in the last year and a half is that I started feeling like I couldn't write because I wasn't writing, at all. My writing had stopped, it was used for essay's and papers for school that didn't lend itself to creative imagination and it became something like a job or prison. SOmething that didn't allow me to grow and build my talents in the way that I wanted them to. In the end, I ultimately shut down and felt like I didn't know how to write.

I feel like I have gotten my mojo back and I feel a lot more stable again. Sure I am not going to love every minute, because there are still going to be hard times but I need to realize that it isn't all always going to be super fun story time, but that for me writing is my security blanket, it's innately sewn into me and there is nothing that is going to separate me from the destiny of pen and paper. At the same time I ultimately still love health, and just because I found my niche again, doesn't mean I'm through nutrition and being a sort of nutritionist under the bus. I love that people are coming up to me and asking me so many questions about health and nutrition that I wouldn't give it up. I just feel that become my own personal nutritionist is going to be more of a hobby than a career choice.

Plus, if any of you out there want tips and tricks and advice, or whatever else on nutrition and exercise I would absolutely adore answering your questions because it is a huge passion of mine, just not one that I would do as a career necessarily. But, I love, love, love giving advice so please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like!!! (My roommates take me up on the offer 24/7 and I get so happy when they ask so please ask away, seriously.)

p.s. Sorry for the long post, but it's been awhile. Also, sorry I keep changing the way my blog looks, I have just really not been liking it lately.

Surprise, Surprise!

In the time between my last post and now, I have had a couple of things happen but one in particular is that I have received my first official CALLING, in my college ward!! I am tremendously excited and grateful for the call that I have been given.

But.. there is something quite unique and special about my calling. To be honest, I would have to say that it is quite a personalized one. If you are dying to know what it is I have been called to do, it is: Relief Society Nutritionist and Exercise Specialist!! It was one that has been made up by the Relief Society President and that I feel that we need in college.

A lot of kids in college think that they are completely indestructible and can eat what they want and do what they want but in the long run they are only making matters worse for their futures. It is really exciting to be a part of something that could help people! I am hoping that by the time the semester is over, I have helped influence and inspire at least one person to change their habits and become healthier in the long run!

I am still trying to figure out how to go about all of this and how I am going to do it but I feel that I am going to learn a lot and I hope the girls do too.

Some

Some days are hard, 

Some days are easy-going. 

Some choices are bad, 

Some choices are good. 

Sometimes I'll succeed, 

Sometimes I'll fail.

Some are the sum,

Some are the sun.

Some is a word

Some is a piece.

And some way I will. I will fly.

I will be free.

Hidden Meanings and Comforts Galore

My life has been insanely crazy the last couple of days, but it has been amazing to see prayers answered and I have had so many blessings appear, out of what seems like nothing.

For a long time I have felt that every time I have prayed and acted on my prayers, nothing seemed to come. No answers, no comforting feelings, no assurance that what I have been doing has been right or at least beneficial to how I am supposed to go about my future.

You know, I used to always know what I wanted. I never had any doubts that what I was doing was right or wrong because I knew it was right for me. But, for the last two years,  all that I have had is doubt. I would pretend that I still wanted things to be the same but inside I was torn between so many emotions and decisions that I didn't know how I truly felt about things.

Honestly, I still don't know what I am doing, but in the last three days I have had an immensely large amount of my prayers answered. There are people in my life now that care so much about me and want me to succeed and they help raise me up and see my potential. We have the same goals and we want to achieve the very best selves possible and I feel so grateful that although it has been a very long journey, I can now start to see that sometimes you need to wait for answers for a very long time to be taught lessons that will help you guide your way to where you really need to be.

I have learned patience, and I am slowly gaining trust and faith that although I am confused about certain things right now, there will always be answers and comforts, they just may be put on hold for awhile so that you can gain lessons and experience to realize what it is you need to do to be your happiest!

I'm Sorry

I know I said I was going to write everyday but I chose a very bad time to do that. I have to pack all my stuff up and move back to school all by my big self, so unfortunately I can't write for the next couple of days but thank you to all of you who followed me everyday so far!! I am going to write a lot more now!

I'll write very soon, don't you worry!

Top 10 Activities To Get You Active (Day 4)

Today I have been thinking a lot about health in general and how sometimes going just one thing isn't satifying. You start getting bored and you feel like you aren't excited to exercise because it feels monotonous. SO I have come up with some of my favorite activities that really get you excited again about staying healthy and motivated!

1. Biking
It is harder than just plain jogging/running but it is so much fun. I absolutely recommend every once and a while going out and riding around the neighborhood or if you need to go somewhere relatively close ride your bike instead of driving!

2. Hiking
It is calming and refreshing! Just to be able to go outside and get fresh mountain air is amazing. It really helps your body and mind become rejuvenated. Another one of my favorite go-to activities.

3. Rollerblading/skating
This is more play than work! You don't even feel like it is exercise until you stop and realize you have sweat dripping down your face. It is exciting to feel like you are just out playing in the sun, having a good time and in fact you are secretly multitasking for health benefits.

4. Yoga
This is relaxing and is helps clear your head and it can reduce stress that you may be having with school, work or other responsibilities that you are doing. It really helps center the body and mind and helps slow things down to help you feel in control.

5. Jumping Rope
This takes me back to elementary school at recess and field day! You can even jump rope at the gym if you need a break from the treadmill or elliptical.

6. Dancing
This you can do anywhere at anytime! While you are cleaning the kitchen, in your bedroom, while walking to class (for the more daring) there are so many places to get your groove on.

7. Pilates
For the same reason as yoga, pilates is a great idea, it's a little bit different style and a bit more intense movement but all the same, it defiantly helps the mind and body clear the bad thoughts, feelings and outside problems away to help you think and process more clearly.

8. Your Favorite Sport
There are so many to choose from! Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, cross-country, swimming, football, tennis, try them all!! There is at least one you will like if you give them a chance.

9. Foam Pits
Places that have foam pits usually have trampolines as well. They are the funnest places EVER and you work quite a sweat at places like that. Much better than a boring old gym, right?

10. Rock Climbing
A total body workout! It takes all the muscles in your body all at the same time to help you climb up! Go to a rock gym, you can look up the closest one to you, they are every where!

Hopefully there is something on this list that appeals to everyone. They are all so fun, you can choose one or all to try. The most important thing is that you are trying to keep up the good habits instead of making excuses for not liking something or having no time because there is something that everyone can do and with just enough time to do it!

Until tomorrow, best of luck!

Good Ole Times and Fresh Beginnings... (Day 3)

Thinking back on how my day went today, I am really happy! I was able to be in the presence of miss Alex and I loved every minute! We talked about how much things have changed and we talked about college. It all felt like we hadn't been away from each other for months and I love that feeling!! That no matter how long you are apart for, there is always someone there to talk to! Like you talked just the other day.

But.... most of our conversations revolved around how our coming semester at college is going to be and it got me thinking that I can be anybody! I can have a great time and have loads of fun! I can make it how I want and I am so excited to have a fresh start because, let's just admit right now that although everyone talks about how fun college is, they forget to mention that it is also one of the most difficult things to do because you have to do everything on your own now. You are an adult, every man/woman for themselves! I was quite depressed the last part of my freshman year and I never want to experience it again. I want to have an unforgettable and fantastic, memory filled semester and I want to gain as many friends as I can. Go big or go home!

It makes me so excited to start all over. I am living at a whole new place with all new people and I am so excited to finally experience what college is all about and I have miss Alex by my side, which helps a lot because we want to achieve the same things and we will be able to lift each other higher as the semester goes on! I have a really good feeling about this year, and my mom has expressed the same thoughts to me. I feel that it will be much better and so much more fun than my freshman year because I now know how things go and I know what I want, and I plan on being aggressive and going for what I want, living life with absolutely no regrets at the end of the day, every moment worth it! I can't wait, it makes me so happy just thinking about it!!

I am Mormon (Day 2)

I am a Mormon and I am Christian. I love my faith and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that Jesus Christ came to this earth and served the children of the Lord. He healed the sick, the afflicted, and in the end of His ministry, he bled from every pore and suffered each and everyone's sins that we as his children, could return to Him. I know that our living prophet Thomas S. Monson is the mouthpiece of Heavenly Father and gives us, as latter-day saints, revelation and guidance for these last days. I know that Joseph Smith Jr. was a prophet of God who restored the true church and gospel back on the earth today.I know that God knows us. He knows me, and He knows you. He loves us and watches over us as long as we strive to live righteously.

"For every sinner there is a future, and every saint a past."

He loves us all and wants the very best for each of us if we are willing to humble ourselves and listen to the tender spirit that is in each of us.

I have learned this lesson personally in the past week and I would like to tell you all about it:

Wednesday morning I woke to an extremely painful toothache and I was worried something was very wrong. I talked to my mom and she said that I should wait a whole day before doing anything to make sure that it wasn't just a one time thing and then it was okay. Unfortunately it was too painful to bear a whole day. I called the dentist office and requested that I come in to get it checked out as soon as possible. They said that someone had just dropped their appointment for the following day so I scheduled to go in the very next day. At first I thought nothing of it, people reschedule all the time! But when I went in the next day, they checked me out and thought something was up with my tooth. So they sent me to a root canal specialist and two and a half hours later, it was determined that I was need a root canal indefinitely. By some miracle I was able to get it scheduled for the following day and within 3 days time, the problem was taken care of. Now I am recovering and I realize that the Lord had his hand in this predicament the whole time. He was able to open doors that I couldn't have done by myself. He is all knowing and all powerful and he cares enough about each of us to give us the help and healing we need at the right time and place, wether we know why or not. He is doing what he knows is best for us. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father and Mother for the blessings and teachings they present to me everyday.

Let's Begin! (Day 1)

Today was absolutely fantastic, and for no particular reason. I set out to have a good day, and it just so happens that if you set your mind to it, it becomes your reality. Today was like any other day: wake up, feed Brynlee and Makenna breakfast while the rest of the family attends Shaelie's cross-country meet down in Provo, clean the kitchen, mudroom, living room, play with the girls and then help make lunch. After lunch I went down to my bedroom and started typing up my very own, personal healthy college cookbook. It's exciting, putting this much effort into something like this. It's been awhile since I put this much focus and energy into a project. I feel that it's something very important to me and it's something that I, myself, want to do, for me.

Sometimes life can get crazy, and sometimes, you just lose yourself-- not in a good way. I feel that my freshman year in college was a bit of a losing period. I lost myself this past year and now I am trying to gain not just myself back but a better and fresher me. Someone who has confidence and strength, poise and grace; someone that I would respect and is respectful, understanding and peaceful. Basically, well-rounded and much more like the true Alyssa.

I have done a lot of not-so-smart things in my life but a very good friend of mine has helped me to see that deep down, I had never truly lost myself, I was just covered in mud and needed a deep clean, if you will, into what really matters. So life is tough. But not standing your ground makes it tougher. Why make life harder than needs be?

With school starting next week and packing and moving this week, I have seen the real value of being yourself, and one day you can be the person God made you to be. Life is bigger than our individual problems and if we are able to look past our self tarnishes, we can see the good in ourselves and in the people that surround us everyday. Today is all about loving what you are handed and doing all you can with what you are given.

This is just the beginning!

Well, my blog devoted to all health and fitness has been officially deleted and with that comes a new chapter of Dreaming Fantasies. One that is a combination of everything in my life. One that will bring you the day to day activities of myself, as well as tips and tricks on health and fitness. It's about time things changed!!

I feel freer and I have my head on straight for once in my life. Although right now everything about my future is like a giant sea of opportunity and experience that is waiting for my arrival, I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing.

This is what is best.

In honor of the new and improved Alyssa and this merged collective blog,  I have decided to do a blog post for everyday in the month of September. I hope that everyone who reads my blog, whether by chance or by being related to me somehow, that you will take the time to read my posts for the next month. I am so excited about what is going on and what will be happening and I hope you enjoy the ride.

It will be like riding a Vespa with a side car, you will be right beside all the action that goes on in my life for a month!!

So please, stay tuned!!

Merging News & Top 14 Favorite Running Songs

Okay guys,

So some of you know that I have a fitness and health blog as well, but it has gotten so crazy that I haven't been able to manage that one and this one without neglect of one or the other and so far all the neglect has been on the health blog. My idea to solve this problem is to have a merger and combine this one and that one together!

In 2 days, on August 31st, I will be deleting my fitness blog and putting this one (my personal blog) and all things healthy together, and as a early gift to you, I am posting my Top 14 Favorite Running Songs!!

"Bucket", Carly Rae Jepsen

"LaserLight", Jessie J feat. David Guetta

"Save the World", Swedish House Mafia

"Somebody to Call My Own", We The Kings

"Bless Myself", Lucy Hale

"I Feel Like Dancin'", All Time Low

"Titanium", Sia feat. David Guetta

"Whistle", Flo Rida

"Time-Bomb", All Time Low

"Good Time", Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen

"1901", Phoenix

"Hang with Me"

"Call Your Girlfriend", Robyn

"I Can Only Imagine",  David Guetta, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne